jessica tholmer
Updated May 24, 2015 @ 11:21 pm

I have been writing EINTKILF for over three years now, and I have somehow never written about The Notebook. This is entirely blasphemous, so without further ado. . .

EINTKILF The Notebook

1. Shout it out.
So when Noah first meets Allie, he decides that he simply must take her on a date. Literally, no matter what. (Though I personally think his persistence would irritate me in real life, just like it irritates Allie.) No man should hang from a ferris wheel and pester you for a date while you are literally on another date — but his irritating charm works, and Allie eventually goes out with him. I do not recommend this move, because it is dangerous and annoying, but if you are Ryan Gosling, you probably have a pretty good chance of being successful. (Not with me, though. Even if you looked like Ryan Gosling, I would hate you for being a pushy jerk.) But the lesson here is that it is okay to tell someone how you feel about them — just try to be respectful about it.

2. Double-date to cut nerves.
My very first date when I was 17 years old was a double date, and it made me feel so much more comfortable. The guy I went on a date with was 21 — which was agesssss older than me, or so I felt at the time — and I don’t think I ever would have been able to calm my nerves down if we hadn’t gone with another couple. Though nothing ever happened after that date with me and the dude, I have fond memories of my first official night out with a guy. Allie and Noah go to the movies with their friends, and even though Allie was tricked into it, it ends up working out. Again, I would be really mad at a friend who did that to me, and I would definitely have left the movie theater, buuuuut in the fictional movie world, this is all very cute. The movie spurs into Allie and Noah’s own late-night walk afterward. Taking a walk away from your group of friends? That’s the good stuff.

3. It’s the little things.
Speaking of the good stuff, the film (and book!) focus a lot of the tiny things about Noah and Allie’s relationship that seem to separate them from the bunch. When I think of The Notebook, I always think of the scene when Allie pushes ice cream into Noah’s face and then he kisses her and she cracks up. Even though this scene is so minute, my mind has it on lockdown because it is so damn adorable. Noah and Allie do it right: Bike riding, swimming, playing around with each other — the little things are what make a love story so solid.

4. Fighting is so okay.
I do not condone relationships that consist of mean and hurtful fighting, but I am very realistic when it comes to being vulnerable with a person. When you are that close to someone, especially in an intimate way, it is totally natural to butt heads from time to time. You fight with your best friend sometimes, right? Similar, but likely a little more heated. Fight it out, make up — it’s all good.

5. Young people do know something about love.
When Allie fights with her parents about Noah, Allie’s mother tells her that she is too young to know anything about love. In response, Allie schools her mother on how she knows more about love than she does (even though it does come across in an angsty, teenage kind of way). It’s not entirely true, and Allie is not privy to the information that her mother has yet to divulge to her. But that being said, I don’t like when kids are made to feel like they cannot fathom love. I was absolutely in love with someone between the ages of 16 and 18, and it was still the strongest, purest love I have ever felt toward another human. When you are young, you’re hopeful and not yet jaded, and that makes your loving feelings that much more significant. Don’t belittle teenagers, y’all.

6. Write letters.
When Ali and Noah are apart, due to a series of unfortunate events, they write to each other. In fact, Noah writes Ali every single day for a year — though we all know she was not receiving those letters. The whole point is, write letters. With your hand, not your texting thumbs. It is so nice to feel connected to someone’s handwriting and thoughtfulness.

7. There is no easy way.
. . . In a relationship. Never, ever, ever. These things are not supposed to be particularly easy. Fight for your love.

8. Your mom understands everything.
As mentioned before, Allie was unaware that her mother once had a love very similar to her love with Noah. When Allie’s mom drives her out to that construction field to tell her about him, you can tell that Allie starts to have a better appreciation for her seemingly naïve mother. That being said, Allie’s mom encourages her to do what she feels is best — basically giving her blessing to leave Lon for Noah.

9. Put yourself first.
When Allie and Noah are fighting about what’s best, Noah tells her to stop thinking of everyone else and ask herself what she wants. Now, this is a life lesson if I’ve ever heard one. I had to really reframe my thought process in my early 20’s because I used to think about everyone else’s feelings first. I like to think that I am still very considerate, but I always think about what is best for me before I start to list the people it may affect. Trust me, it’s not selfish — it is necessary for your well-being. (I would also go back to Noah.)

10. Chase your heart.
It is a bold move that Allie goes out to see Noah in the first place. It is a bold move that Noah kisses Allie in the rain after telling her about the letters he wrote her. It is a. . . questionable move that Allie avoids reality and stays at Noah’s house — though I honestly don’t blame her after being reunited with him. You have to take those bold, questionable moves when you are figuring out what you want for the rest of your life. Remember to speak your mind, do what’s best for you, and always chase your heart. The heart knows what the head cannot figure out, and that will always be true.

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