It is the month of lovvvvvvvve, and therefore, I will spend the next three weeks writing about lovvvvvvvve. And probably adding more and more “v”s to lovvvvvvvvvve all the time. At first I was thinking I should write something like “Everything I Need to Know I Learned From Leonardo DiCaprio Interrupting Jonah Hill’s Monologue on SNL,” but then I thought that would be a little complicated and who knows if I could get to ten lessons (I totally could) and really, though I love Jonah and Leo as a duo, nothing is better than Kate and Leo. So in honor of Valentine’s Day, I am talking love lessons from the best fictional couple ever. (Don’t quote me, I don’t even believe that at all.)
EINTKILF Jack and Rose (From Titanic)
1. Saying someone’s name over and over makes you love them more.
In case you haven’t seen Titanic fifty billion times like I have, maybe you have not noticed how often Jack and Rose use each other’s names. I know it is a joke that has been made many times, but I actually really like when people use my name excessively, and I don’t just mean in a sexy way. In fact, I don’t mean in a sexy way at all (though obviously I like when my boyfriend uses my name because it would be super weird if he didn’t). But anyway, one time someone told me that our names are subconsciously our favorite word, so hearing it over and over makes you feel closer to the person using your name. Or something like that, I don’t know guys, it was years ago. Don’t quote me.
The point is, say my name, say my name.
2. Dramatic meet cutes are the best.
Though I have never had a dramatic meet cute of my own, I can appreciate the fact that I love drama and also that I love meet cutes, therefore I love dramatic meet cutes. I personally had a very undramatic meet cute so obviously I am not suggesting that all meet cutes have to be dramatic, I am just saying that I think they are interesting and kinda romantic.
Basically all I have said in this lesson is A) dramatic and B) meet cute.
So anyway, Jack meets Rose when she is literally hanging off of the back of the biggest ship in the world, contemplating suicide because she is slowly being crushed by the inertia of her life plunging powerlessly ahead of her. (KIND OF LIKE A SHIP, Y’KNOW?)
That is all pretty dramatic, but it does not stop dear Jack from saving her life, and then basically stalking her until she realizes she loves him too and then they love each other forever.
3. Money can’t buy you love.
Okay so The Beatles also taught us this, and I am prettttty sure that I have used this lesson before, but I can’t help that it is a good lesson all of the time!
Jack is really poor and Rose is really rich (or at least is pretending to be really rich because she has a really rich name) yet they still manage to love each other. Even beyond that, Rose is willing to give up her future as basically royalty to bum around with Jack because true love knows no dollar amount, you know?
I <3 paupers, even though I am one so that doesn’t really count as the same story. And by “I am one,” I mean I’m a freelance writer, so let’s be real.
4. It is okay to leave your mean fiancé.
I absolutely do not condone cheating, but since Rose was pretty much pre-arranged engaged to Cal Hockley, I really cannot fault her for abandoning him. He was controlling, rude, abusive, and potentially only loved her for status reasons, though I am willing to bet he a little bit was infatuated with her because she is mothereffin’ gorgeous.
Regardless, we all know that Rose never loved Cal, even though she tried to pretend she did. And if you can’t love a man after he presents you with a fifty-something carat blue diamond necklace, then I guess you can never really love that man. So it is okay to leave him mercilessly, informing him of the change of heart by leaving a hand-drawn naked picture of yourself in his safe.
5. How to throw a real party.
Because poor people party better than the rich, obviously. (Don’t tell Diddy.) No gimmicks necessary, just extra loud, live music and lots of cigarettes and beer. (That is not how I party, for the record. I party with like…”Bangerz” on repeat on my roommates’ ipod shuffle, red wine, and my iphone in my hand.)
6. Believe in your love.
Speaking of mean fiancés, Cal frames Jack by slipping the Heart of the Ocean (the aforementioned blue diamond necklace) into his pocket (of a stolen jacket) out of fury for stealing his woman.
“Two things dear to me have disappeared this evening. Now that one of them is back…I have a pretty good idea where to find the other.”
Though Rose seemingly believes Cal over Jack for a minute, that doesn’t last long. Rose escapes from the rushing crowds, leaving Cal and her mother, to go save Jack from ship jail. She didn’t need verification that he was innocent, she just “always knew.” Bawwwwwwwwwwww.
7. Icebergs ruin everything.
What an insensitive lesson since the sinking of the Titanic was a true event. Though I am claiming this lesson lightheartedly, I truly believe that icebergs–when ships crash into them–ruin everything. When they are just out in the ocean, not harming anyone, I think they are quite beautiful actually. In the case of Jack and Rose however, they ruin lives. Poor Rose had to wait 84 years to be reunited with what that iceberg took from her.
8. Drawing is sexy.
As I have already touched on, Jack draws Rose naked wearing her extremely expensive necklace, and as we all know, it was “the most erotic moment of her life.” (At least up until that point.) Now I am not necessarily into the thought of being drawn naked, but I am into this scene.
9. Hearts do go on.
I know everyone hates the Céline Dion song “My Heart Will Go On,” but I love it because it is very nostalgic, and because it perfectly represents Jack and Rose’s relationship which is the second most (romantic) relationship in my life. The first is my own because if it wasn’t, I would need serious therapy STAT. Anyway, the lines in the song are cliche and tired now, but back in ol’ 1997/98, they were beautiful.
Hearts really do go on and on. Everything Céline says is true.
10. Never let go.
Jack: Winning that ticket, Rose, was the best thing that ever happened to me… it brought me to you. And I’m thankful for that, Rose. I’m thankful. You must do me this honor. Promise me you’ll survive. That you won’t give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Rose, and never let go of that promise.
Rose: I promise.
Jack: Never let go.
Rose: I’ll never let go, Jack. I’ll never let go.
And she never did. And you shouldn’t either because holding onto promises is vital for love.
Oh, and…11. Love can save you. That’s a big one.
Happy Valentine’s Day, kiddos.