jessica tholmer
September 28, 2015 2:54 pm

Now that pretty much everyone is back in school (well, people that go to school are back in school), I only have one more “back to school” themed EINTKILF for you beautiful souls. When I think “school movies,” I think of CluelessMean Girls, and Animal House, though I have never even seen that movie. For my last “back to school” movie, I thought I should stick to the “clique” style movie, especially since I’m pretty into Scream Queens already. What goes well with Clueless and Mean GirlsHeathers, of course!

EINTKILF Heathers

1. Don’t be a jerk. 
The movie begins as a really typical “high school clique” movie and in some ways, it is exactly that. The Heathers (they all call each other Heather) have Veronica write a note from a hot popular jock to a really unpopular young woman, basically leading her on. You can tell that Veronica is different right off the bat, and not just because her name is Veronica instead of Heather. Veronica shows remorse when everyone begins to laugh at the poor girl being mocked. Don’t be a jerk, guys. I wasn’t a jerk in high school and I’m not a jerk now and I believe in all of you as well.

2. Bad friendship isn’t worth being popular. 
The entire premise of Heathers revolves around a girl who wants to get out of being one of the popular girls. I mean, sure, she basically goes on a killing spree but the point is, no one should sacrifice their morals in order to be popular. I don’t know about you guys, but I didn’t go to a high school with crippling cliques (thank god) but rather one where we mostly supported one another and everyone got along. I wouldn’t have ever been friends with the popular girls if they were anything like the ones in movies.

3. Life isn’t easy for anyone. 
When the popular people began to get killed off, the theme of “we had no idea she was unhappy” comes up. Though these murders are being posed as suicides (which is why this even comes up in the first place), it is important to note that even though some people seem like they “have it all,” everyone has their down moments.

4. Bad boys are not always good. 
…and as sexy as Christian Slater can be, he is a murderous psychopath. Bad boys can be good like the Tim Riggins types, but bad boys can be very, very bad as well. Watch yourselves, ladies and gents. 

5. Fashion. Is. Key. 

Watching a movie from the ’80s is always so fun because of the fashion choices. Though I would probably never wear anything except for Shannon Doherty’s red bow (I basically own one already), the hair has me full of envy. My natural hair would have fit in SO well as a high school student in the ’80s. How unfair that I was raised in a time of straight hair?? Thank god for hair straighteners and also the option to go against the grain. (I wouldn’t have been popular at their high school.)

6. The definition of frenemy. 

Wait, did Heathers invent the idea of a frenemy?? I have a lot of frenemies but I promise I would never kill any of them.

7. Differences are okay. 

Being different, like Veronica, is never a bad thing. The mean popular girls in Heathers (and Mean Girls, and all movies like it) are just caught up in societal pressures. Sure, some mean people are actually really that mean, but a lot of times, they are simply covering up other insecurities. If you are feeling pressured by your friend group to treat people poorly (or to do anything else you don’t want to do), embrace your differences. Being different is the best.

8. Being constantly happy isn’t a thing. 

And do you really think Alex Trebek is happy all of the time? Tbh is he ever happy?? Everyone has bad days and bad feelings and bad everything. Life isn’t that easy. No one skates by. Let yourself frown it out sometimes.

9. Don’t trust anyone. 

Don’t trust cool guys, popular girls, or even yourself.

Just kidding—that’s a terrible life lesson. Honestly though, just protect yourself.

10. Other things: Winona Ryder is a genius. 

I don’t know how you guys feel about Ryder, but I love her. I love her aesthetic, her attitude, and her choice in movie roles. She is everything.

(Images via New World Pictures) 

Related:

5 ways Heathers ruined my life

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