Our Dream Trios For The Next Season Of "True Detective"
The next person who says “I probably won’t watch True Detective without McConaughey and Harrelson” can show himself out.
True Detective is the kind of show you can watch, live-tweet, re-watch, read a minimum of four blogger recaps, re-watch again and still find something that makes you go “Ohhhh!” upon further analysis. It’s like Mad Men with time travel and grain-based alcohol. Season one was filled with action and wisdom (“Time is a flat circle,” anyone?), and we’re chomping at the bit to see what happens in the next installment.
Here’s what we know about season two so far: the story will be independent from season one, it will take place in rural parts of California and Matthew and Woody (we’re both on a first-name basis) will likely not return. Their story is finished, and we’re moving on to the next—one starring three badass lady bosses. According to True Detective series creator Nic Pizzolatto, it’s about “hard women, bad men and the secret occult history of the United States transportation system.”
As we learn more details about the next season, there’s one big question on everyone’s mind: Who will these heroines be? Last week, rumors were buzzing that Jessica Chastain would join the cast, but that idea was quickly and unfortunately squashed. That leaves us with three roles that need to be filled.
“The characters are all new, but I’m deeply in love with each of them,” says Pizzolatto. “We’ve got the entire series broken out with a couple of scripts, and we’ll probably start casting in earnest in the coming months.”
Lest Pizzolatto need suggestions, there’s no shortage of ideas on the internet. People are entertaining themselves silly posting photos of famous trios with #TrueDetectiveSeason2, and scrolling through them never gets old. If I may throw some suggestions into the ring for consideration, here are my dream trios for the next season of True Detective.
Beyoncé Knowles, Kelly Rowland & Michelle Williams
Get a lead; sing about it. Find a clue; sing about it. Question a witness; sing about it. See where this is going? Season two could be filled with musical opportunities, plus cameos from Jay Z and Blue Ivy.
Tina Fey, Amy Poehler & Maya Rudolph
Heck, go for four stars and throw Kristin Wiig in the mix. This is a demanding job, and sometimes you need a little comic relief to keep you going. If HBO is looking to take season two in a more comedic direction, who better to bring the laughs than these ladies? Although I’m not sure how much actual crime solving would get done with these three cracking one-liners and over-analyzing every aspect of the job. “Why do you think they’re called holsters? And while we’re changing things, would it be possible to change the stereotypical cop snack from doughnut to cupcake?”
Robin Wright, Bryce Dallas Howard & Cate Blanchett
Now THIS is a good suggestion. Not that the others aren’t, but this one probably has better odds of happening. Wouldn’t it be grand to see these three women come together on screen for season two? I don’t know if my TV could handle the talent.
Monica Geller, Rachel Green & Phoebe Buffay
Not Courteney Cox, Jennifer Aniston and Lisa Kudrow. But Monica, Rachel and Phoebe. Three best friends uprooted from New York City, fighting crime in California. Normal stuff.
Emma Thompson, Kate Winslet & Emily Blunt
Like with the Wright/Theron/Blanchett trio, I’d love to see these actresses all together on one screen. They would play the smart, sassy British detectives who don’t take crap from anyone. There would be plenty of b-plot playing to their hidden sensitive sides that miss their ex-husband (Thompson), son (Winslet) and estranged lover (Blunt) across the pond.
Kim, Kourtney & Khloé Kardashian
With the Kardashian girls as stars, this season would be produced by Ryan Seacrest. The supporting cast would be composed of Jenner family members and the soundtrack would be exclusively Kanye West songs. But really, it would be great. Like binge watching only the serious episodes of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, sans bathroom breaks.
The Powerpuff Girls
Imagine the show as-is—beautiful scenery, dazzling cinematography—but in place of Matthew and Woody are three sassy cartoon superheroes. Bubbles, Buttercup and Blossom fight crime with sugar, spice and everything nice, plus super powers like freezing objects with their breath. Can you picture it? Because I can.
Meryl Streep, Helen Mirren & Judi Dench
My TV/the internet/my brain will explode if this happens.
Truthfully, you could combine any of the women above and I’d be happy. Tina, Meryl and Buttercup? Bring it. Beyoncé, Phoebe and Khloé? You would watch that show. Who is your dream trio for the next season of True Detective?
Featured image , Destiny’s Child , Kim, Khloé and Kourtney Kardashian , Powerpuff Girls , Meryl Streep via