Erin Mallory Long
April 12, 2013 8:00 am

In “Everyone Needs Love” news, a woman in New Orleans took to Craigslist when she was in need of a very specific man: Robb Stark from Game of Thrones.

The posting is VERY specific and reads like a set up to some hot fan fiction (or you know, Late Night Tumblr).

“I have recently purchased a replica of the Iron Throne as seen in the television show, and need a partner to play out an elaborate fantasy.”

Here is the posting in its entirety:

I really hope she found herself a Robb Stark for this fantasy because it sounds amazing.

But it made me think about my own Craigslist ad for a fictional character would be. There are so many characters I’m in love with it was really hard to choose. But here we go.

Seeking Pacey Witter from Dawson’s Creek – w4m – 28 – Los Angeles

I’m a big fan of the Kevin Williamson series, Dawson’s Creek. I watched the show religiously when it was on (when I was 13-18) and it really affected my entire life. I recently purchased a replica of Pacey’s boat “True Love” and would like to act out a Summer at the Sea fantasy I have had since Pacey and Joey first got together.

Obviously, in this fantasy I am the pretty but feisty Joey Potter and you are hilarious and sarcastic Pacey Witter. We have just decided to leave for the summer on your boat (though I own the boat IRL, obviously), True Love. We’ll sleep in hammocks in the boat and you’ll read books to me as we drift off to sleep. We won’t have sex ever but I’ll make fun of you a lot and will spend a lot of time talking about my best friend, Dawson Leery. This is going to require someone with a sharp wit and also the charming good looks of Pacey Witter.

But don’t worry, this is a two-part fantasy. Once we get back home (after three months at sea), we’ll head to a ski lodge where we get to stay together even though I still won’t sleep with you. Then, creepily, you’ll brush my hair as I’m wearing a white tank top and we’ll have sex. But I’ll be really mean about it in the morning.

Please only respond if you are Pacey Witter! Please know all the details of your back story (you had an affair with a teacher, for instance) and please provide your own wardrobe. (I mean, I’m providing a boat, for crying out loud! And I just don’t own men’s short-sleeved button downs from the 90’s).

Looking for a Pacey in the streets and a Pacey in the sheets, obviously.

Note: If Joshua Jackson is reading this, I will accept you as a substitute to the real Pacey Witter.

The worst (best) part about this is how easy it was for me to A. choose a fictional character to write a Craiglist ad for and B. choose the scenario for the fantasy.

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