Rachel Paige
October 22, 2015 11:33 am

Though it was hinted that we might get two Oscar hosts this year (and we were holding our breath for dream team Amy and Tina), the duties will go to the one and only Chris Rock. This marks his second time hosting the biggest night in movies, the first being all the way back in 2005, which feels like forever ago.

Sure the Oscars are not be happening until next year — February 28th, 2016 to be exact — but we can start dreaming up everything we want to happen when Rock takes to the stage once again. And dreaming, yes, we’ve already begun. Here are just a few of the things we want from Rock when he takes that Oscars stage.

Look who’s back. #Oscars. pic.twitter.com/7TkkrDpSJM

More jokes about Jude Law!

Well, maybe not exactly about Jude Law. But back in 2005, Rock made a joke about how Law was, “in every movie I have seen in the last four years . . . Even if he’s not acting in it, if you look at the credits he makes the cupcakes or something.” It was pretty funny because it was true, and then Sean Penn got on the stage and told Rock that it was not funny. Channing Tatum seems to be in every movie right now, and I bet he would LOVE some Rock written jokes aimed his way.

Some sort of Empire tie-in

Empire is one of the biggest shows on TV right now, and Rock actually appeared in the first episode this season. I know that the Oscars are all about movies, and Empire is on TV, but I’m pretty sure Cookie can conquer everything. So we’ll take some jokes about it Empire at the Oscars, please and thanks.

Some inner-monologue-ing 

Rock’s CBS sitcom, Everybody Hates Chris had voice overs and they were great. Also, it was Rock narrating the inner-thoughts of his younger self, Wonder Years style. Wouldn’t it be kinda funny to get Rock’s inner thoughts as he hosted one of the biggest nights of the year?

We’re totally expecting some sort of Everybody Hates Chris reference, because the co-producer of this year’s Oscars, Reginald Hudlin, actually directed the show’s pilot.

NO musical numbers

The musical numbers are great, yes. But no one really likes a five-hour Oscar telecast. We hate to cut anything, but for the sake of our bedtimes we’re going to say please don’t make Rock tap dance.

Not shying away from the controversial subjects

Like, maybe the issue of diversity in Hollywood? Rock has waxed poetic in the past about tons of tough topics, and the wisdom he’s spouted has been profound. We’re sure he will find a way to take on the wage gap, diversity, and all the other issues Hollywood keeps coming up against.

Related reading: 

Amy Schumer + Chris Rock = New comedy dream team

Everything I need to know, I learned from Chris Rock

[Image via ABC]

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