Real Housewives of Atlanta can get pretty effing dramatic, what with the wives at each other’s throats all the time (namely Kenya and Porsha) and other woes, such as the federal indictments against Apollo and Nene’s health. After the results of the season 6 reunion of RHOA, Kenya Moore said she might not even return to the show. And maybe that’s a good call. I don’t know about you, but when issues escalate that quickly and that intensely with someone, the last thing I want is to keep brawling with that person. Even though this reality TV show is pretty much all scripted, an element or two of wisdom surely can be taken from it. What we do and how we interact with others is a huge part of our day. Most of us strive for fairly Zen lives, right?
I don’t think we need a reality show to remind that it’s hard dealing with people sometimes. We have co-workers we want to strangle (I mean, not literally), friends who totally cross the line, significant others who drive us crazy and family that can be completely insane. We are totally bound to run into drama one way or another, but we can’t let annoyances and differences get the best of us.
A year ago, I worked at a school and I had a co-worker who was the absolute worst human being, ever. While we were working together, this lady was incredibly rude, mean and entitled. And every single day I wanted to pour my coffee on her head. But I didn’t, because I value caffeine more than revenge.
Could I have gotten into a screaming match with her and call her out on everything that makes her an insufferable co-worker? Totally! But I didn’t, because a) I’m an extremely passive aggressive person who is terrified of confrontations, and b) I didn’t want to pull that kind of sh*t at work because I consider myself a classy person, more or less. She actually ended up quitting, so that solved that problem.
In reality, I know people don’t just disappear. I was lucky. We have to learn how to deal with the individuals in our lives who create drama one way or another. If it’s friends or acquaintances who are being catty or with whom you just don’t see eye-to-eye with, then maybe it’s time to organize a friendship intervention and salvage the relationships.
Sometimes, it’s necessary to figure out why you’re disagreeing, and how you can solve the problem. I think the same can be applied to any relationship issues you might be having, and I’m not Dr. Phil (is he still a thing?), but the obvious key to any (healthy) relationship is communication. I feel like sometimes we get so angry and so worked up, it’s easy to freak out and name call and be mean. But before that happens, we need to take a deep breath and ask ourselves what the underlying issue is so we can solve it.
Family drama is more difficult, as I’ve come to learn. The feuds that develop can stem from some deeply rooted issues that only major therapy can solve. My advice? Be civil. Don’t take sides. Be diplomatic and do a lot of, “I see what you’re saying, but I also see what they’re saying”-type responses. Family is family, and no matter what happens, you’re stuck with them forever.
Overall, if you ever find yourself in a dispute of some kind (and we all have), it’s best to solve things in a calm and collected way. Don’t do it over a gallon of wine, don’t wait and harbor bitterness and resentment and don’t be afraid of confrontation (do as I say, not as I do, right?). Your life isn’t a reality TV show, so don’t let it play out that way. You got this.
How do you deal with drama?