Alyssa Thorne
January 25, 2017 11:21 am
Benjamin Van Der Spek, EyeEm/ Getty Images

Are you ready for the wildest poetry-related ride since you found out what the “nothing” in Much Ado About Nothing actually meant? Ready or not, here comes the Reddit user who wrote a poem about a cow licking bread. At first glance, they seem like something you’d find inscribed on some illuminated manuscript — but then you remember you’re actually scrolling through Reddit, and so somebody in the present actually penned/typed these poetic masterpieces.

If you’re wondering how this all began, let us tell you. Because of course there’s a backstory. It all started with a funny story about somebody’s stepdad, a baker in an 18th century bakery recreation, and an unfortunate encounter with a cow.

Simple enough. But then a user responded with the following poem.

Obviously this is a masterpiece in and of itself, but the internet can’t let sleeping cows lie, as it were, and so now there’s a whole mess of poems written in this style about cows. It’s weird. It’s glorious. It’s been making us laugh for hours.

Some internet denizens/possible MFA candidates have even gone so far as to analyze the structure of these poems.

The writer of the original poems hasn’t yet commented, although they have shared other similar poems. Such as this one about a dog…
and wen its tea,
i hope they giv
sum foode to me -
i hope they shair
befor its gon -
they never do.i dont get non."

…and then responded to themselves with a response from the cow. YEAH, we’re getting DEEP.

We’re thinking of starting a movement to read this in school instead of Canterbury Tales, we lik — ahem, we mean like this so much.