TV Characters We Never See—And What They Might Look Like
It is a common gag for sitcoms to conceal some of their most spirited characters. Relying on only humorous descriptions for their appearance, our imaginations run wild with what mysterious spouses and eccentric neighbors look like. Well, ponder no further. Here is a list of the best TV characters that we have never actually seen—and what (or who) I think they’d really look like.
The Character: Ugly Naked Guy, Friends
After years of watching the gang watch the antics of their nude neighbor, we finally got a peek at Ugly Naked Guy—satisfying our voyeuristic side. Unfortunately, we only saw his hairy back.
Who He Might Look Like: From this quick glance, I surmise that he bears a striking resemblance to Bill Dauterive from King of the Hill.
The Character: Mrs. Wolowitz, The Big Bang Theory
There have been many less than flattering—and less than appropriate—descriptions of Wolowitz’s overbearing mother. She is brash, crude, and agoraphobic. What could she look like?
Who She Might Look Like: Based on her similar ability to belt one out, I’m thinking Bernadette plus 35 years and a mustache.
The Character: The President, Veep
He never calls. He takes credit. It’s all on his terms.
Who He Might Look Like: The President on Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ comedy sounds like Mr. Big circa seasons one and two of SATC—without the meet-cute, drama, and sex. Or, The President may just look like this guy?
The Character: Maris, Frasier
Just like Frasier’s predecessor Cheers, there is a wife viewers never see.
Who She Might Look Like: Unlike Norm’s larger than life description of his ‘old lady’ Vera, Niles paints a pale, fragile, neurotic, and slight tableau of his first wife Maris. She seems like a sickly, and frankly less-awesome, version of our favorite cold-hearted, monotone sitcom lady—Lilith Sternin-Crane. Like brother. . .like brother?
The Character: Tino, My So-Called Life
My So-Called Life fans may remember Tino as the lead singer of Jordan Catalano’s band, The Frozen Embryos, and as the coolest guy at school, except you never see him there.
Who He Might Look Like: I think we all imagine Tino as a ’90s grunge heartthrob à la Winona-era Johnny Depp, River Phoenix or Kurt Cobain.
The Character: Stan, Will & Grace
It is a breath of fresh air that, in this instance, the unseen caricature of a spouse is a husband and not a nagging wife.
Who He Might Look Like: What do we know about Karen Walker’s super rich third husband? 1) He is super rich. 2) He goes to prison. 3) He’s bald under his toupee. So, married to Megan Mullally + Bald = Nick Offerman in the movie Paradise. (And yes, that’s Nick Offerman!)