The Best of Fictional Journalists
Whenever I see a movie or TV show, I inevitably want to be the people on that show. I want to look like them and talk like them and have their job because it looks exciting and interesting. But in reality, a lot of those jobs stink and aren’t half as awesome as their fictional counterparts. So, of course I’d much rather be a fictional journalist than a real one. Because when you’re a real journalist there’s endless amounts of work not involving exciting runs around metropolitan cities, clandestine interviews with important people, and a sad lack of conspiracies.
Besides, fictional jobs are the best because there are no consequences if instead of meeting an informant on top of the Eiffel Tower you feel sleepy and instead wanna spend the night in watching 8 episodes of Scandal in a row, stuffing your gob with ice cream.
So here are some of the best fictional journalists. My heroes…
Andy – The Devil Wears Prada
This chick went from journalist to assistant faster than you can spill corn chowder down the front of a hideous acrylic sweater. But after a journey from nice girl zero to mean girl Vogue hero she finally manages to get her priorities straight and returns to her true calling as a journalist. While I personally didn’t like her transformation from serious career gal to jerky friend/girlfriend, I did love her clothes. And her bangs got way better. I’m sure her writing was really good, too.
Josie Geller – Never Been Kissed
Josie was a manipulator, but she had a heart of gold! And the role of manipulator was more or less thrust upon her. Josie tries to make high school a better place and at the end of the day mostly fails. She probably should’ve gone to the prom as part of the double helix. And even though she basically stinks as a journalist through most of the film, she finally does write a captivating newspaper article and gets her first real kiss, so A+.
Andy – How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Another Andy who acts like a jerk only to undergo a transformation to ultimately become the lady she’s meant to be. She’s super-manipulative, but all the best journalists are, I guess. She goes into deep cover doing an idiotic story, which will supposedly lead to her being able to write what she wants. Why she just doesn’t use her years of industry contacts to just find another job instead of creating a fake relationship is beyond me. I mean, there’d be no movie. But it’d just be good sense. Anyway, the film teaches us that from the greatest deceit comes the truest love of all! Also, Andy teaches us nothing looks better than a family in matching Burberry.
Rita Skeeter- Harry Potter
Rita Skeeter is a two-faced, muck-raking jerk. But you’ve gotta love her Quick-Quotes Quill. Some might say that the quill is the real jerk, since she’s not physically writing, after all. And she’s got super sassy style and, let’s face it, she sells papers!
William – Almost Famous
He’s young, he’s spunky, he learns to live the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle. William gets to experience things of which most music fans only dream. He not only kicks off what will undoubtedly be a glorious career, but gets de-virginized. Win win!
Murphy Brown – Murphy Brown
Murphy is kind of the queen of lady journalists. She’s a red hot, tough single mom working on having it all. She even had a feud with Dan Quayle. If that’s not being an awesome journalist, I don’t know what is.
Rory Gilmore – Gilmore Girls
She’s tough but fair, strong yet tactful. Rory makes it to the top of Yale Daily News and starts off her professional career by following the Obama campaign. And with Rory on his trail he eventually went on to be our real president. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.
Matilda Jeffries – Zoolander
Matilda turns an assignment to write up a male model into a quest to uncover a plot about the assassination of the prime minister of Malaysia. Um, journalism much?? And along the way she learns not to be so judgmental, how to style her hair to get rid of light pattern dryness around her scalp, has an orgy, and eventually has her own baby Zoolander. Way to go, Matilda!