Maddy Foley
April 20, 2016 12:36 pm
HBO

We’re in the final stretch, Game of Thrones superfans. This Sunday, April 24, we (hopefully) will get some sort of closure regarding sweet, angsty, doe-eyed Jon Snow, portrayed ever-so-nicely by Kit Harrington, and his apparent demise in the Season 5 finale. But according to David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, creators and showrunners of the HBO super-hit, those of us who have been holding out hope that Jon Snow is actually totally fine after that very massive stabbing incident are in for a nasty surprise.

“It’s called a ‘pupillary sphincter,'” said Benioff and Weiss in a recent chat with Variety. And yes, he just said “sphincter.” “We looked this up on the Internets and it said that your pupillary sphincter relaxes [when you die] and that your eyes dilate, and if you look carefully, Jon’s pupil dilates — the one that’s in the light dilates.”

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UGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

No, you what? I don’t trust that statement. There are so many theories swirling about Jon Snow and his not-dead-ness that I refuse to believe he’s gone until I see it for myself. The reason, by the way, that Jon’s death has become a particularly contentious issue among GoT fans is because Season 6 is officially moving ahead of the original book series. We’re all in the dark. We’re al confused. We all, subsequently, have our own theories.

For example, there’s the fact that Melissandre, #1 fan girl of the Lord of Light, is at Castle Black during Jon Snow’s, um, accident. And earlier in the series, we saw a Lord of Light-worshipping priest bring Beric Dondarrion back to life. So that’s an option, I guess.

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Melissandre’s presence is also part of another major theory regarding Jon Snow’s actual parents. Hints have been made about Jon Snow’s actual parents: Rhaegar Targaryen (you know, the “Mad King”), and Lyanna Stark (beloved sister of Ned Stark), thus making Jon Snow’s blood both fire and ice. And implying that he is destined to become Azor Ahai, whose importance can be most easily grasped via this video:

Then there’s the possibility that the Night’s Watch won’t burn Jon’s body in time and he’ll somehow become a White Walker. Which I would not like but legend has it that the Night’s King, who we saw taking an interest in Jon and his Valyrian steel sword towards the end of Season 5, was once a Stark. And so is Jon, supposedly.

Another theory relies on Jon’s ability to “warg,” or inhabit another creature with his spirit. We’ve seen Jon’s younger brother Bran do it with both animals and humans. We’ve seen Orell the wilding do it. We know it’s possible. What if Jon wargs into his beloved direwolf, Ghost? I mean, he’d be a direwolf and not, like, a human, but… you know…

And finally, there’s GoT author R.R. Martin’s reaction when asked about Jon Snow’s fate in the books in 2011: “Oh, you think he’s dead, do you? . . . My readers should know better than to take anything as gospel.”

So HA, Weiss and Benioff! Take that, pupillary sphincter!

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