Shaunna Murphy
January 18, 2017 8:06 am
NBC

To those of us who keep up with such things, Saturday Night Live parties have long been the stuff of legend. But for current SNL star Aidy Bryant, one such drunk cast party was not so much a dream — like, say, the 40th anniversary party where Prince performed with Maya Rudolph and Jimmy Fallon, for example — and more of a messy, drunken nightmare.

The most relatable nightmare ever, but still — a nightmare.

“You take all the anxiety and stress and power from the season and you pour it in to one night of drinking alcohol,” Bryant, who also explained that she’s typically a light drinker, began on Late Night with Seth Meyers. “This most recent one that we had at the end of last season — I would say it almost destroyed me as a human woman.”

Bryant went on to explain that, during last year’s annual writer’s room party, she drank so much so blacked out … and woke up the next morning on a hallway floor in her apartment building.

“I may look like a painted lady right now, but I also sometimes sleep on the hallway floor,” she quipped. “The only reason I woke up was because I was hit by a newspaper that was being delivered to my neighbor’s door. A woman came out of the elevator and just threw a newspaper down.”

This already sounds like the worst morning ever, but believe us, it gets worse — because, after acquiring a key to her apartment from her doorman (been there, girl) and realizing she couldn’t find her cell phone or purse (same), she had to go straight back to work.

“I went to work, immediately, an ill woman,” she said. “I puked a little at work; at Saturday Night Live. Very humiliating.”

Yeah … unless you’re a super famous comedienne who has proven herself invaluable to her employers like Bryant, we do not recommend showing up to the office in such condition. (And probably not even then.) And we definitely, definitely do not recommend doing what Bryant later found out — to her absolute horror –she had done before bed on the night of the big bash.

“Two days later, a doorman was like, ‘Does this purse belong to you?'” she said. “Because I’d left it on some random floor. I guess when I got home I just pushed any button in the elevator, went up there, and then was just like ‘I’ll sleep in this hallway.’ Then when I was awoken by the paper, I just left my belongings there.”

Holy. Crap.

1) We are totally feeling hungover just reading this, but 2), this is just reminding us why using the buddy system is so, so important for women (and probably men, too!) who wish to indulge in a night of heavy partying.

At least Bryant was okay — and of course, later able to channel this experience into the gut-busting sketch that was “A Girl’s Halloween.”

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