For awhile before I ever started watching Mad Men, I’d heard the name “January Jones,” with regards to the show, usually about how annoying she was. I always assumed January Jones was a character on the show; I watched the show and discovered that I was a total idiot. January Jones is the actress playing Betty Draper.

I thought January Jones was a character’s name that whole time for two reasons: 1. because I’m an idiot, and 2: because it kinda fits, it sounds like someone in the time period, it’s alliterative like Don Draper, and it sounds as if it’s supposed to have some kind of meaning about the character. But it doesn’t it’s just what a person who decided she wanted to be an actress happened to be named.

Here are some other actors whose names sound like characters from the movies and shows they’re in:

Rupert Grint totally sounds like a Rowling invention. I wouldn’t be surprised if a Grint was some kind of small woodland creature with sharp teeth and that chills out in the Forbidden Forest eating forbidden acorns. I’ll have to check my Guide to Magical Creatures.

2, January Jones, Mad Men

Alliterative and classic sounding.

3. Walton Goggins, Justfied

This name just doesn’t sound real at all.

4. Kristian Nairn, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Kit Harington, Game of Thrones

All of these either sound like they’re from a fake language, or like they would make a good clan. House Harington has a great ring to it.

5. Benedict Cumberbatch, Sherlock


6. Chris Evans, Captain America

American. Chris Evans and Steve Rogers are basically the same name.

7. James Gandolfini, The Sopranos

Wait, is this one just assuming all Italians are mobsters?

8. Mark Boone Junior, Sons of Anarchy

This one works even better if you throw some apostrophes in there and treat Junior as his last name: Mark ‘Boone’ Junior

9. The Entire Cast, Gossip Girl

If you didn’t know any better, would you think Ed Westwick was a rich Upper East Side spoiled kid, or an actor playing such?

10. Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld

Oy. Sorry.

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