Gina Vaynshteyn
March 11, 2014 8:00 am

Quizzes have been the new “it” thing of the Internet for the last month or so, and as much fun as it is to find out which Game of Thrones character or flavored cream cheese you are, these tests are pretty inaccurate. “Duh,” you may whisper out loud as you are reading this, and think about leaving a comment that says something like, “quizzes are for fun, you should chill out.” And you’re right. Maybe I should. But I can’t get over how much gall these things have! Just based off 7-15 questions, you are ruthlessly judged and placed in a rigid box. You are either Leslie Knope or Ann Perkins. You either belong in Minneapolis or Spain. You should have really majored in either architecture or British literature. I mean, come on.

Here are some more reasons why personality quizzes are totally meaningless:

1. It’s hard to relate to just one person

I took a “Which GIRLS girl are you” quiz the other day and I really wanted to be Shoshana because she’s obviously the best one and I like how adorably neurotic she is, but I actually got Hannah and this annoyed me. Yes, I can be very Hannah Horvath sometimes, but I’m also sarcastic like Jessa and can be uptight like Marnie. You can’t just put me in a personality box, Buzzfeed!

2. We don’t belong in just one place

Apparently, I belong in Paris, France. Which is sad, because I live in San Diego but really want to move to Seattle and I don’t even speak French, so maybe that would be really difficult. I’m down for the croissants, though.

3. Does it matter what pizza topping you are?

Just because I like Arcade Fire and painting my nails dark blue doesn’t mean I’m “pesto chicken.” Like, what does that even mean?

4. Just because you wear glasses, doesn’t mean you are “Daria”

Some quizzes heavily depend on what you wear. For instance, if you wear combat boots, you are clearly the band Hole. Or, if you live in LA, you obviously must shop at American Apparel. Come on, we’re a little more multi-dimensional than that. Also, I can wear blazers from The Gap and still listen to The Clash, so whatever.

5. Maybe you shouldn’t base your wedding location off a quiz

Quizzes that suggest answers to really important life questions, like whether you should quit your job and pursue art or in what restaurant your boyfriend should propose to you are kind of silly.

6. Fifteen questions should not “nail” who you are

Maybe 100 questions. Or 500 questions, even.

7. They feed into the idea that we need to belong in a category

Everything and anything is a social construct, including the color “pink” and the idea of gender. Do we really need more institutions that buy into labels and promote strict and social law-abiding rules? Just now, I found a “Foolproof Gay Test” quiz and I wanted to throw my Internet in the garbage. F*ck that.

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