Molly Horan
May 18, 2014 10:29 am

Sofia Coppola of Lost in Translation, Bling Ring and, yes The Godfather Part III fame is directing an adaptation of the classic fairy tale The Little Mermaid. But Ariel isn’t the only fairy tale heroine who needs a makeover (possibly with a dressing room montage). Here are our best pitches for seven other classic tales that could use a modern Coppola-ian update.

1. Cinderella
As she proved with Marie Antoinette, Coppola really knows how to film shoes. As Cindy races down the multi-colored, pulsing back-lit stairs her spike heel catches the edge and she decides to leave it behind. Prince or not, it’s impossible to get a cab after midnight.
2. The Emperor’s New Clothes
CEO of the new tech company The Emperors, Jane wants the perfect, most flattering selfie filter in the world. A team builds one that highlights, smooths and perfects like no other. But when she posts a selfie with it her Instagram friends laugh; she’s actually used no filter at all!
3. The Frog Prince
The princess has been on OKCupid, Tindr, and even LinkedIn looking for a date, but she can never find the guy she’s looking for. So when her friend suggests she kiss a frog for good luck, she’s willing to try it…
4. Snow White
Snow White loves her seven roommates, and doesn’t even mind hiring the Woodlen Creatures Cleaning Crew after their parties. But she dreams of a day she’ll wake up to the kiss of a prince instead of one of her roommate’s hungover groans.
5. Little Red Riding Hood
Little Red heads to the family reunion in her fabulous new red dress, just hoping her Grandma’s sketchy new boyfriend, James DeWolf, hasn’t completely changed her life … and her soul.
6. Goldielocks and the Three Bears
Goldielocks thinks this bed is just right, but how can she be sure.? She finds a kindred spirit in Baby Bear, and the two share the last bed and talk late into the night about life and porridge.
7. Hansel and Gretel
Besties Hansel and Gretel are sick of that old witch running the Dylan’s Candy Bar they work for, so they devise the perfect crime—to shove her in the convection oven. Just think of the elaborate gummy bear shots.