Erin Mallory Long
February 19, 2015 5:55 am

In the winter of 1999 I was navigating my way through my first year of high school. On February 19th of that year, Office Space premiered. My initial desire to watch Office Space was entirely based upon the fact that Jennifer Aniston was in it. But I quickly realized A. she’s not the main character and B. there are a million other reasons to love this movie. So on this, the 16th anniversary of its release let’s take a look back at Office Space and five ways it ruined my life:

1. “I don’t really like talking about my flair”

This quote was so important to me it was my header on Myspace for the entire time I had a Myspace profile (approximately 2004-2010 RIP).

Remember, I was watching this movie FOR Jennifer Aniston, so this really grabbed me. Also, I collect buttons so I was kinda of scheming in my head, like, “I could be her for Halloween.” But also I have a long-standing desire in my personal life, to be some sort of sarcastic server (say that five times fast) so her entire character really spoke to me.

2. Amused By People With Famous Names

Michael Bolton: Yeah, well, at least your name isn’t Michael Bolton.

Samir: You know, there’s nothing wrong with that name.

Michael Bolton: There *was* nothing wrong with it. . . until I was about twelve years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.

Samir: Hmm. . . well, why don’t you just go by Mike instead of Michael?

Michael Bolton: No way! Why should I change? He’s the one who sucks.

My best friend’s name is one letter away from being Anna Kendrick (she has an H were that first K is) and it was very difficult for her once Anna Kendrick started becoming a thing. So, I get it. I understand that must be frustrating if your name is literally the same as someone who is famous. Because though a common name, if I met someone named Will Smith, I would do a double take.

And then there’s Wesley on 30 Rock who also has no chill when it comes to his famous name.

3. Gave Me Fantasies of Smashing Office Supplies

Arguably one of the most satisfying scenes for anyone who’s ever worked in an office is this:

I mean, who hasn’t been so frustrated by modern technology that they just want to smash it to bits? NO ONE, that’s who! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to make copies or fix a paper jam only to have it jam and wanted to act out these same fantasies at my own job. Office Space speaks to all of us and that is why it is great!

4. The Importance of “the Red Stapler” – Whatever That May Be

I am very particular (some rude people might say “obsessive”), but this is especially true when it comes to office supplies. The pens I carry around with me are no accident, everything is very planned out. I have exactly everything with me that I need at all times. So if you mess with that — or with what is on my desk, there will be blood. OK, well, not blood, but problems, for sure.

So I get the connection to the red stapler. I really do. I feel the same connection toward my clickable pens or my Beyoncé pencils or my bright pink post-its that I brought in from home.

5. Filled With a Million Gifs/Responses to “Cube Life”

Every single thing that happens or is said in this movie is super gifable and super ready to re-blogged.

 Seriously.

Come on.

(30 Rock , Mondays gif via, last gif via)

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