This past Sunday, Amy Poehler spoke at Bette Midler’s New York Restoration Project’s 13th Annual Spring Picnic, which is the most perfect thing ever, since we all know Amy’s fictional alter-ego, Leslie Knope, would approve. She not only discussed the rewarding experience she’s had with the New York Restoration Project, but she also showered Bette Midler with acclaim, devotion, and imaginary memories. Yup. Imaginary Memories, I mistype you not.
During her speech, Amy said, “So, I first met Bette Midler, in my head, when I watched the film The Rose. And since then, [she] and I have been best friends—in my head. In my head, she and I have traveled together. We have cut an album, and we pranked George Clooney. She’s the godmother to the children of mine that she has never met. And once, Bette turned to me in a dream and said, ‘Amy, you are the most talented person I have ever met. I hate to say, this kills me, but you’re more talented than me. I bless you, and I release you to god.’ And then she turned into a million doves, and flew away.”
If Amy can have an imaginary celebrity BFF, so can we, right? I decided to come up with a list of the perfect imaginary celebrity friends. But to be honest, it was hard to choose, since I sincerely and infinitely love so many famous people and want them all to be my best friends. It was also hard to choose because the term “imaginary friends” has a pretty wicked connotation, and I can’t help but think of those scary movies with kids who have demons as their imaginary friends. But whatever. Here are my top thirteen potential non-demonic celeb imaginary friend candidates:
1. Amy Poehler
I KNOW it goes without saying, but I just had to say something. Amy Poehler is easily my favorite comedian, writer, actress, and human being. Her new book Yes Please is coming out in October, and I am just beyond excited. Amy would make an excellent imaginary friend because she would be the one whispering in our ear, “GO FOR IT. DO IT. BE CALCULATINGLY RECKLESS. YOU’RE THE BEST AND I LOVE YOU,” because Amy is all about empowerment, self-love, and encouragement.
2. Jenny Slate
We are officially obsessed with Jenny Slate here at HG. I love her as the belligerent hot mess, Mona Lisa, in Parks and Recreation, but I know I will also love her in her new movie coming out soon, Obvious Child. Jenny Slate is super witty and talented. She’s taking over the world quietly and confidently, and that makes her Grade A imaginary friend material.
3. Olivia Wilde
Olivia is the cool girl we all want to be friends with because you know she’s the one who will help you dye your hair lavender, or be an amazing buffer when you’re seeing a new guy you’re not sure about.
We ALL need a friend who will encourage us to embrace our inner-weird, whether this translates into wearing dark cherry lipstick, shaving half our head, or trying beef tongue for the first time. Lorde has stated that she draws inspiration from Cat Stevens, Neil Young, Sleigh Bells, and Sylvia Plath, which leads me to think Lorde would want her BFF to attend as many concerts and poetry readings as humanly possible, which is definitely okay by me.
5. Lily Allen
I don’t know about you, but I’m way more enamored by Lily’s Sheezus than Kanye’s Yeezus. Her controversial feminist tunes are everything I need in life at the moment; Lily Allen teaching us that it’s okay to make fun of yourself as well as the outrageous expectations we as women have. You SHOULD stand up for your rights as women. And you can also have fun while doing so.
6. Nick Offerman
Even though it’s hard for me to separate Nick from Ron Swanson, they are actually two separate entities. However, they do share similar qualities: both men are skilled carpenters, they were born in the Midwest, and in 2013, Nick wrote the book, Paddle Your Own Canoe: One Man’s Fundamentals for Delicious Living, which we all know Ron Swanson would have written had he decided to become an author. Imaginary friend material? I think yes.
7. Bryan Cranston
Heisenberg –I mean—Bryan Cranston is truly a master of disguise. He’s gone from playing a totally normal-ish dad in Malcom in the Middle to embodying a chemistry-teacher-turned-drug-lord in Breaking Bad. Brilliant. His acting skills aren’t what make him BFF-worthy, though. Bryan Cranston is just an overall good person: in 2012, he made a public service announcement to support same-sex marriage, he’s great to his fans (check out this video where he takes a really high-energy selfie with someone), and he helped high-school Stefan Montana go to prom by pulling a Walter White (NO he did not poison anyone with ricin).
8. Natalie Dormer
Natalie (you may know her has Anne Boleyn in The Tudors or Margaery Tyrell in Game of Thrones) recently shaved half her head for her role as Cressida in Mockingjay. In an interview with Glamour, Natalie confessed it was kind of “peculiar” at first to sport a half-bald look, but now she’s come to enjoy all the free head massages. Hey, whatever floats your magnificent boat, Natalie. Obviously, Natalie Dormer is cool for more reasons besides her fearless hairstyle and femme fatale TV roles. Natalie was a straight A student who almost attended Cambridge, but when she didn’t get an A on her history exam, acting became her new Plan A. She had absolutely no Plan B, which is kind of awesome.
9. Stephen Colbert
Besides being the ultimate trickster of America and king of political satire, Stephen Colbert is a super fascinating person. You just KNOW that if you get dinner with him, he will never stop telling you crazy stories about his life and how he feels about French cheese and Ann Coulter. Also, if you are in need of an imaginary friend who has an incredibly skewed, but hilarious moral compass, Stephen is your guy.
If there is one thing guaranteed about an imaginary friendship with Rihanna, it’s that you’ll probably end up on her imaginary Instagram. And at some crazy party in LA, surrounded by Swarovski crystals, bottles of champagne, and (weirdly) tubes of perfect matte lipstick because I bet that’s how Rihanna rolls. BFFdom with Rihanna means NO dull moments ever. Like, you will probably end up jumping in pools with your clothes on and flying to France just for a really good croissant. Are you in?
11. Meryl Streep
How could Meryl NOT be your imaginary BFF? She is the very definition of grace and wisdom, and if you didn’t love every single one of her snarky retorts in The Devil Wears Prada, then you have no soul. I’m just kidding, you do, but come on. She owned that role. Anyway, Meryl’s the kind of gal I would have serious heart-to-hearts with. Am I on the right career path, Meryl? Did I choose the right designer handbag? Meryl is a sage and gift to humankind, and she will certainly make the greatest of great imaginary friends.
12. Lena Dunham
There’s a little bit of Lena in all of us mid-twenty-somethings, am I right? Yes, sometimes we’re sloppy, we cut our own hair and look like a Beatle, we end up with the wrong guys, we end up with the right guys but don’t know it, and oh do we struggle. But we are a creative, tenacious bunch, and Lena will always remind us of that.
13. Laverne Cox
In honor of season two of Orange is the New Black (it starts streaming on Netflix on June 6!), I would just like us all to celebrate and truly appreciate the wonder that is Laverne Cox, who is helping give transgender individuals a voice by advocating for the community, as well as appearing on TIME magazine’s front cover this month. So cool. This brave and incredibly talented woman is everything I would want and more from an imaginary BFF.