It’s true, it gets better. Growing up has loads of advantages, but there’s one thing childhood still has over adulthood: Saturday mornings. I wouldn’t be surprised if the government conceived of a day when all children controlled the television and were fed sweets in their pajamas as a way to prevent kids from taking over the planet. It had a lulling effect that no experience in grown-up land can match. Thankfully, we can all still go to that happy place instantly when we spot a vintage Happy Meal commercial or the pastels of a Muppet baby. And really, why are we not going to that happy place ALL THE TIME? Consider the following memories of Saturday morning part of your new daily meditation.
SM HAPPY THOUGHT #1: Eggo waffles. Remember the premise of these commercials? There was always an adult losing a deliciously toasted waffle to a kid. It wasn’t just about the breakfast snack’s deliciousness, it was about kid justice. Eggos were ours.
SM HAPPY THOUGHT #2: Unlikely cliques. It wasn’t a Saturday morning cartoon if there wasn’t a girl with freckles, a dog with floppy ears and a magical, mohawked chipmunk riding a giant roller skate, going “wha-wha-whooooaaaah!”
SM HAPPY THOUGHT #3: This shooting star. This was usually a good time to toast your Eggo waffle.
SM HAPPY THOUGHT #4: This dog. He knows what Saturday mornings are all about.
SM HAPPY THOUGHT #5: Slippers with faces. Was there ever a better time to bring out your lamb-faced terri-cloth fuzzy wuzzy pinkydoodlers? Wearing slippers with the heads of magical animals made us feel like hunters in a cartoon jungle. Throw on a pair of felt P.J.s and we’re off to the races.
SM HAPPY THOUGHT #6: Skip It. This always seemed like it might be a nice thing to do after the TV turned into boring adult programming. Thanks for the tip, commercial.
SM HAPPY THOUGHT #6: This. Jessie Spano’s diet pill freakout was the most serious thing that ever happened on a Saturday morning, and it was kind of funny.
SM HAPPY THOUGHT #7: Cartoon families with two teeth and pointy ears. For some reason, this wasn’t scary.
SM HAPPY THOUGHT #8: Shag Carpeting. Remember when rugs were just floor couches?
SM HAPPY THOUGHT #9: The smell of a freshly toasted Pop Tart. There is nothing like the snap of cakey icing making way for piping hot, tangy artificial fruit flavor.
SM HAPPY THOUGHT #10: Pepper Ann. If you were a kid during Pepper Ann’s reign on Disney’s One Saturday Morning, you were a lucky little lady. The red-headed skateboarding daughter of a single mom was “much too cool for 7th grade” and much too cool for adult prime time TV.
SM HAPPY THOUGHT #11: This TV Line-up from 1990. Please ignore candlepin bowling.
BAD THOUGHT! BAD THOUGHT!