Mia Galuppo
January 13, 2014 10:00 am

Acceptance speeches at any awards show are viewed as a necessary evil, often referred to as “that stuff that happens when Tina Fey and Amy Poehler aren’t onstage.” But at this years’ Golden Globes, the speeches were a main attraction, with some being thoughtful, some being funny others being funny and then a few that were plain indecipherable.

Just in case you missed the speeches, here are a few highlights.

1. “And I actually did watch all of the movies… well, not all of them, but you know what I mean.” -Jennifer Lawrence, Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture, American Hustle

Lawrence talked about her attempt to watch all of the movies of her fellow supporting actress nominees, and then openly admitted to not getting to all of the films. Pretending like you watched a critically acclaimed movie but instead just re-watching Urban Cowboy? Ya, Jennifer, I think we all know what you mean.

2. “To my mom, I hope one day to be one tenth of the woman you are.” -Elisabeth Moss, Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television Movie, Top of the Lake

3. “All right. All right. All right.” – Matthew McConaughey, Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture: Drama, Dallas Buyers Club

Mathew McConaughey’s speech seemed like it was a drunk Matthew McConaughey doing an impression of Matthew McConaughey. In his defense, his category was the second to last of the night so if he wasn’t drunk by then, what’s the point?

4. “You are not only an incredibly visionary but you put the very fabric of our culture up in the screen… Thank you for your mentorship.” -Leonardo DiCaprio, Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture: Comedy, Wolf of Wall Street 

DiCaprio’s endearing speech was directly addressed to his Wolf director, Martin Scorsese. The actor has previously worked with Scorsese in multiple films, including The Aviator, The Departed and Shutter Island.

5. “I also went to med school and then decided to do this and this is way better, way better than saving a human life.” -Dan Goor, Best Television Series Comedy or Musical, Brooklyn Nine-Nine 

This was the closing line of the co-showrunner’s acceptance speech. Brooklyn Nine-Nine nabbed the Golden Globe for an upset in the Best TV Comedy category, beating out Girls, Modern Family and The Big Bang Theory.

6. “Thank you to Italy. That is a crazy country but beautiful.” -Paolo Sorrentino, Foreign Language Film, The Great Beauty

The country could not be reached for comment.

7. “The bravest, most talented actor I have ever worked with. And the only reason you are not here is I had more sequins.” -Michael Douglas, Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television Movie, Behind the Candelabra

Douglas was referencing his Behind the Candelabra co-star Matt Damon, who was also nominated for the Golden Globe in this category.

8. “I am always supposed to cry when I am not supposed to, and when a director asked me to, I can’t. It really sucks.” – Amy Adams, Best Performance by and Actress in a Musical or Comedy, American Hustle 

9. “Such a lovely way to say goodbye to the show that meant so much to me.” – Bryan Cranston, Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series: Drama, Breaking Bad 

This was the Cranston’s first win after four consecutive nominations for his Breaking Bad character, Walter White.

10a. “He came up from behind me and unbuttoned my jacket and said: ‘Let it flow!’” – Alex Ebert, Best Original Score, All is Lost

Ebert was referencing a time in St. Bart’s when he was partying with his award’s presenter Diddy (formerly P. Diddy [formerly, formerly Puff Daddy]).

10b. “Thanks for letting me try– all over your movie.”- Alex Ebert, Best Original Score, All is Lost

Ebert’s speech deserved two quotes, and his up-do deserved its own nomination.

11. Everything Jacqueline Bisset Said – Jacqueline Bisset, Best Performance in an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television, Dancing on the Edge 

These include such gems as:

“Scottish background, to the front!”

“My mother used to say, ‘Go to hell and don’t come back.’ ”

“You have to forgive everybody. It’s the best beauty treatment.”

“Sh*t!”

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