Nicole Paulhus
September 25, 2013 11:00 am

I tried incredibly hard to come up with something else to write about this week, but I couldn’t. Breaking Bad has taken over my life. I can’t stop talking about it. I can’t stop thinking about it. I’ve read all the interviews and discussed all the theories. Last night I spent an hour googling pictures and videos of the cast celebrating their Best Drama Series Emmy win.

This Sunday it all comes to an end and that, of course, makes me terribly nervous. So, before I make a lame chemical formula joke I’ll regret, let’s just get to it. Here are ten reasons why the finale of Breaking Bad makes me nervous.

[NOTE: This entire post is one big spoiler.]

1. What If It’s Not Perfect?

I have crazy respect for Vince Gilligan. He’s created this world and characters who have captivated and amazed me for five seasons. He’s brilliant and talented and I hear he’s a really nice guy. However, series finales are hard. They have to wrap up every character’s story in a satisfying way, while also staying true to the tone of the show and providing memorable plot twists. As much as I trust Vince Gilligan, I’m still super nervous that the finale will let me down. I’m 99.9% sure it will be perfect, but that .1% is nagging at me and keeping me up at night.

2. My Beloved Jesse Pinkman

I know he’s a drug dealer and a murderer and a thug and blah blah blah, but I’m sorry, I love Jesse Pinkman. And, boy have the past few weeks been hard on Jesse Pinkman. Each episode has a moment in which Jesse is about to score a win, escape and start over. I clench my fists and yell, “Go Jesse! Run! Get out of there!” and just when it seems as if he’s finally going to escape Walt’s shadow of pain and despair, BAM, he gets hit with another heart-wrenching punch to the gut. Going into the series finale, all I want is for Jesse to (a) not die and (b) have some ounce of optimism for the future, but I know those things probably aren’t going to happen and I’m terrified of what new and creative ways the writers will beat down on Jesse this week.

3. I Still Kinda Care About Walt

I know! I didn’t think I did, but last week when he was threatening Saul and had that coughing attack I felt it. Then, when he bribed that guy to stay an extra hour just so he could have some human contact, I felt it again… sympathy for Walter White. Part of what makes this show so great is how layered and complicated everything is. Sure, Walt has always been prideful, greedy and power-hungry, but he’s also shown layers of compassion, panic and grief. I’m not saying I want him to make it out of everything unscathed, but if the assumption is that he dies in the finale (right?), I’d at least like for him to make some kind of amends first.

4. Marie Is a Such a Wildcard Right Now

We didn’t see much of Marie last week, which scares me. Marie has always been a bit unstable. Hank was her rock and now he’s gone (RIP ASAC Schrader). She’s got no real family left and seemingly no friends. What does she have to lose at this point? Nothing. She has nothing to lose! She’s such a wildcard. I’m going to spend the entire finale anxiously waiting for the moment Marie rolls in, purple guns blazing, kills everyone and kidnaps baby Holly. Secretly, though, I hope Marie ends up with Walt’s barrels of cash to buy all the diamond tiaras and fancy houses her wounded heart desires.

5. The Ricin! 

I love the running storyline of the ricin and I love that we already know based on the flashfoward that the ricin will play a part in the finale. But, just like Marie, I’m afraid the ricin is going to show up unexpectedly and I’m fearful of who its target might be. As we all know by now, ricin takes a few hours to take effect. So theoretically, Walt can slip it to someone without us, the audience, realizing and then in the final minutes of the episode someone (Jesse? Lydia? Walt himself?) could drop dead. This show is so stressful! Wonderful and enjoyable, but oh my god so stressful.

6. What about Huell? And Badger? And Skinny Pete? 

There’s a special place in my heard for these minor characters. They provide some much needed comic relief amid the heart-racing drama that is Breaking Bad. My fear here is that the finale will have so many major storylines and characters to wrap out, that Huell, Badger and Skinny Pete will never get the closure they rightfully deserve. The last we saw of Huell, he was in a guarded safe house, waiting for Hank to return. Is he still there? Are they feeding him? If he does get out, what will he do for employment now that Saul has flown the coop? What about Badger and Skinny Pete? Do they even realize Jesse is gone? Will Badger’s brilliant Star Trek idea lead to a successful career in Hollywood? These are questions that demand answers, which I’m pretty sure we will never get.

7. What If Better Call Saul Isn’t Everything I Want It To Be?

I was among the few loyal viewers of Joey. I would tune in every Thursday at 8pm, hoping despite logic, for Joey to fill the void in my heart left by Friends. While, I still standby my opinion that Joey wasn’t nearly as bad as everyone made it out to be, it was still a huge letdown. I feel I’m headed for the same disappointment with this Saul spinoff. It’s a prequel, which I think is smart, because it says from the start, “We will not continue storylines from Breaking Bad.” Also, the fact that it revolves around Saul leads me to believe the tone and structure will be much lighter than its parent series. I’m fully aware that it is going to be a completely different beast than Breaking Bad, but I still expect it to be just as good. What can I say? I’m a sucker for spinoffs.

8. Will I Ever Look At Landry Clarke The Same Way Again?

Todd is cray. He’s a really intriguing character and I’ve enjoyed watching him slowly evolve into the weirdo he has become this season, but he’s a scary psycho. The creepiness with which Jesse Plemons portrays Todd has ruined my beloved Landry Clarke forever. Hopefully, over time this will pass and I’ll be able to go back and watch little Lance kick that winning field goal and smile, but right now there’s Todd stink all over him and I’m worried it may never go away.

9. I’m Going To Want To Go Back and Rewatch the Whole Series Immediately

It happened with 30 Rock, it happened with The Office and I’m sure it’s going to happen this Sunday after the Breaking Bad finale airs. I’ll be upset and won’t want to say goodbye, so I’ll turn to the security blanket that is Netflix to ease the pain. I’ll start rewatching the series from episode one to try to relive its magic and prolong the goodbye. The issue here is that I don’t have time to rewatch all of Breaking Bad and it will probably cause me to lose sleep, productivity and sanity.

10. What Will Become of Low Winter Sun?

Seriously? What will this show do without Breaking Bad? I imagine at least half if its ratings are due to Breaking Bad fans being frozen in shock and unable to change the channel. As much as all of us will mourn the loss of a brilliant show, Low Winter Sun is the true victim of Sunday’s farewell.

Feature Image found here. Cast Emmy pic found here.

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