Nicole Paulhus
July 24, 2013 8:00 am

When I was a freshmen in college, my mother called me in a complete tizzy one Tuesday. In between deep breaths, she told me never EVER to try crystal meth. If I was going to experiment with any drugs in college, it shouldn’t be meth. Meth is addictive after the first use and will ruin your life, or so the Dr. Phil episode she had just watched said. I had never even smoked so much as a cigarette, so I found it hilarious that she thought I was going to wind up a meth-head. Now, eight years later, I find myself a full-blown addict. Not to meth, but to a show about meth.

I have watched three seasons of Breaking Bad in roughly three weeks. I am currently forcing myself not to rush this piece in order to hurry back to my TV to watch the first episode of season four. I have a problem. Netflix Instant is my drug. I love it and everything it has brought to my life, but its power over me is starting to become a problem. Here are ten reasons why Netflix makes me nervous.

1. We Can’t Stop and We Won’t Stop

I just assume that new Miley Cyrus song is about watching fifteen episodes of Arrested Development at a friend’s house and then going home and rewatching the Lucille and Buster episodes twice, which is exactly what I did when it came out in May. I have zero self-control when it comes to Netflix. It’s not healthy and I’m aware that it’s not healthy, but I do it anyway. This is one of the main warning signs of addiction. I am a full-blown Netflix addict. I should try to kick the habit, but I have so many more shows to binge!

2. No One Told Me Wish Upon A Star Was On Netflix

This really bothered me! I’m not sure when it went up, but this Katherine Heigl body-swapping classic from my youth was available to stream instantly and no one notified me. As much as I love Netflix’s easy-view category system, sometimes I wish there were a full catalogue to scroll through. Perhaps a weekly email letting me know what’s new? I’m always afraid there’s something wonderful available and I’m missing out on it.

3. It Occasionally Ruins My Childhood

I get really excited when I see something from my childhood go up on Netflix. Sometimes though, I watch a show or movie I loved as a kid and find myself seriously letdown. I grew up worshipping at the pom-poms of Kelly Kapowski, but upon a recent rewatch of Saved by the Bell, I realized she’s kind of the worst. Thanks for ruining my childhood, Netflix!

4. There’s Just Too Much

I get overwhelmed by all the things on Netflix. I start to panic about what shows I should be prioritizing and when I will have the time to watch them all. I had planned to do The West Wing after Breaking Bad, but now I have new seasons of Orange Is the New Black and The Killing to watch. Some days it’s just like ugh, am I ever going to get to watch Dr. Who?

5. I Expect Netflix to Save Every Cancelled Show

Netflix saved The Killing and brought back Arrested Development, so who’s to say it’s not going to save Happy Endings or Bunheads? Whenever one of my shows gets cancelled, I delay the mourning process, hoping against logic that Netflix will save it. Out of all the shows that have been cancelled in the history of TV, they’ve brought back two. The odds aren’t great, but they’ve given me hope and like a fool I latch onto it every time.

6. It Makes Me Too Lazy To Watch DVDs

I own a lot of seasons of shows on DVD that aren’t on Netflix. The problem is, I never watch my DVDs anymore because having to get up and switch discs is too much of an inconvenience. Why would I get off the couch to pop in a new disc of Beverly Hills, 90210 when I have nine seasons of One Tree Hill at my fingertips? Netflix has ruined me forever.

7. Lack of Water Cooler Chat

I love that Netflix is now making original programming and I love that they’re putting all the episodes up at once for those of us who require instant-gratification. However, one of the things that I love about standard television scheduling is that everyone is watching the same episode at roughly the same time. You can live-tweet, live-text and rehash last night’s episode of Pretty Little Liars around the water cooler. I always feel like I’m either way ahead of my friends in these Netflix Original shows or way behind them. I blew through Arrested Development while everyone else took their time, but now everyone else is blowing through Orange Is the New Black and I haven’t even started. I’m always worried I’m going to spoil something or someone will spoil something for me. 

8. I Can’t Delete Things From My Recently Watched List

If we’re sitting down to watch Clueless on Netflix together, you don’t need to know that the last thing I watched was episode eight episodes of Pretty Wild. I really wish there were a way to delete these things from the Recently Watched section of my homepage to ward off the judgements of my less accepting friends. Also, in my defense, it was right after seeing Bling Ring and I needed to know how much of it was true.

9. I’m Not Sure How I Have Friends

I was late to pick up a friend on Saturday because I had to finish an episode of Breaking Bad. If I didn’t have pre-determined plans, I would have spent the entire weekend cuddled up with Walt and Jesse. When I get in deep with a show, I eat, breathe and sleep the show. It’s all I want to talk about and I will disown you if you spoil a plot twist. Taking a step back, I’m honestly not sure how I have friends.

10. I Can’t Write A Tenth Reason, Because I Need To Start The Next Episode RIGHT. NOW.

Feature Image via techcrunch.com

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