Relationship Goals I learned from “Titanic”

Since 1997 the only person who’s been more in love with Leonardo DiCaprio than me—and this is still a hard call—has got to be Kate Winslet. As I tearfully listened to his Oscar speech over the phone at a Bushwick bar this weekend (I was far, far away from a TV), Kate was tearfully gazing upon him, overwhelmed with pride. It’s no wonder that their bond is so strong: you can see that all the way back when they were flying open-armed on the Titanic.

Truth be told, Titanic is a bit hard to watch in earnest these days; several dozen parodies and way too many piano recitals with staggered versions of “My Heart Will Go On” have made it a bit hokey over time. Regardless, Jack and Rose were the ultimate in #relationshipgoals to a slew of impressionable of 7-year-olds, who like, probably shouldn’t have been watching that film in the first place. Those two were, for a time, the be all, end all of movie couples.

So in honor of Leo’s big win and his perpetual bond with Kate, here is everything Titanic taught us about artistic lovers, maintenance of nudes, and never letting go.

Take a chance with someone who pushes you out of your comfort zone.

Like many romances before and after theirs, Jack and Rose come from two different worlds, and during their clandestine affair Jack, especially, takes initiative in overlapping and blending said worlds. To begin with, he compromises with Roses’s world by suiting up to meet with Rose’s peers, looking every bit a dashing gentleman with his seraph-sculpted face atop a tuxedo. But his better contributions are when takes her to a real party, when he teaches her how to spit, when he inspires Rose to set aside her Edwardian era sense of propriety. It’s invigorating to have someone challenge you like that.

If you have an artist boyfriend he will inevitable draw you like one of his French girls.

Granted, Rose, as a strong, sexually liberated woman requests this of Jack, and it is a lovely portrait. But with artist boyfriends, it all starts with one erotically charged modeling session with your beau, and then every weekday you’re reluctantly disrobing so he can have something ready for his critique tomorrow. You recognize his talent, but idk, is this worth getting a Masters in Fine Arts? Like, you love him, but things are getting hard because he’s unable to get a non-barista job and all of your date nights are spent in the dimly lit back corners of cafes that play way too much Joy Division.

Anyway, if you ever start to feel sad that Jack died in the end, make no mistake, that’s where this relationship was going.

Don’t leave your nudes out where your fiancé can find them.

There are a lot of “don’ts” that precede this statement, but I’M JUST SAYING.

Even if the situation looks grim, you should always go back for the one you love.

Particularly if the one you love is handcuffed to a pipe on a fast-sinking ship, but in other, less lethal situations, too. I mean, Rose makes her heroic journey to retrieve Jack from the ship’s lower levels and Jack, in turn, allows Rose to board a life boat in a tremendous moment of selflessness. However, she jumps back for him all like, “I couldn’t go, I couldn’t go, Jack” and he’s all like, “Omg Rose you’re so STUPID, why did you do that?”

…actually, now that I think about it, I’m not 112% sure I’d jump back onto a death ship for a guy I’ve known for a week. The message behind their actions are sweet though: when things get tough, you don’t leave your partner behind. You try to figure out a resolution together. You jump, I jump, right?

There’s a time and a place to reminisce about the cutesy moments in your relationship.

“Jack, this is where we first met!” Honey, this ship is going down, you can be sentimental later.

Love is all about never letting go… or it’s about letting go completely, in a pushing-your-lover-under-the-water kind of way.

When Rose first boarded the Titanic she considered it a slave ship, a vessel ushering her into a loveless marriage with Billy Zane. However, it was on that ship that she met Jack Dawson, who taught her to, first of all, to let go: of herinhibitions, of her stiff upper-class life, of the gross 30-year-old fiancé her mom is forcing you to marry, all the negativity. This is what ultimately brought Rose her freedom.

But more than that, Jack told her to never let go to all the good stuff: the fire that made her so special, and more importantly, the drive to live, and live a life so rich with experiences that she can happily die an old woman, warm in her bed. Hopefully, you can find someone like that, someone who can save you in every way that a person could.

And um, hopefully your union will be less catastrophic than the Titanic.