R-Patz reportedly engaged! All our 2008 hearts need a moment.
The time has finally come, my friends. The go-to teen heartthrob of our middle school years — and OK, some high school and a little bit of college — is allegedly off the market. At least, he’s off the market assuming that the rumor mill is right. Robert Pattinson, the sparkly vampire of our dreams, is now reportedly engaged to the very awesome actress/singer FKA twigs.
The pair have only been dating for about six months, and it was T-Pain who actually spilled the big news. He mentioned in an interview with Vulture that FKA twigs wasn’t going to be involved in his new album because she was engaged to “Patty.” Then T-Pain quickly backtracked, realizing he had slipped up, and claimed it was all an April Fool’s joke. But it’s apparently for real, according to People‘s sources. (Note: Their reps haven’t confirmed anything, so grain of salt, folks.)
So now, let us all-together enter the next phase of our lives, where we know deep down inside it simply won’t work out between us and R-Patz. It’s time to let our little vampire walk into the sun with a new love on his arm, but we do wish him only the most happiness. Really! If you love something so much, you’ve just got to set it free, so we’re setting you free, Patty (cool if we now call you Patty, too? I mean, if T-Pain can call you Patty. . .).
We are, however, going to keep our Twilight posters, notebooks, t-shirts, backpacks and giant cardboard cutouts, if that’s OK. The memories we spent together will remind us how we were total, wonderful nerds crushing out for the first time on Bella and Edward, in all their blingee glory. Gawd, remember all of these?
But it’s really time to let Edward be R-Patz, nay, Robert Pattinson—a man with his own awesome life, and a rad grown-up relationship. We are also grown-ups now, sort of, and weirdly, this is one of those moments when we remember that. Congrats again, and we love you, Robert. No matter what, we’ll always have that small but perfect piece of our forever.