Psycho Swiftie Tries to SWIM to Taylor Swift’s House, Fails
Wow. Some people really like Taylor Swift. A 22-year-old man was caught trying to swim to Swift’s house, (a waterfront property, duh,) Wednesday, and questioned by police; he admitted that the goal in his little dip in the water was to breach Swift’s property, like some kind of weird fandom D-Day.
While he was swimming to her house, it’s unclear if he was swimming through the ocean or a bay or what, Rhode Island has both, he noticed he’d been spotted and turned around, but to no avail, he got caught anyway.
This is pretty funny, but also this dude is (likely, this is speculation) someone with serious mental issues: the mental health of this guy, and the physical safety of Taylor Swift probably shouldn’t be joked about. But come on, he was trying to swim to her house!
The motives of these people always confuses me, like Beatlemania, or Elvis Fever, or Lisztsomania (“the intense fan frenzy directed toward Franz Liszt [a now obscure 19th century musician] during his performances.” It’s a real thing, Wiki it.) Look at the girls who tweet at Justin Bieber, or shout at his concerts, or send death threats to Selena Gomez; do they actually think that A. Bieber cares that they exist, and B. That he plans to fall madly in love with them?
I guess I’ve never really been a big fan of anything, I like stuff without being obsessed, but I’m also not crazy.
Before you shrug off crazy fans as silliness, don’t forget: it was a rabid Jodie Foster fan, John Hinckley Jr, who tried to assassinate Ronald Reagan in a bizarre attempt to impress Foster. Hinckley was so obsessed with the movie Taxi Driver, Foster’s performance specifically, that he tried to emulate it to impress Foster, a twisted version of the plot of that very movie. That’s demented, he tried to copy the plot of a movie about a crazy dude. But I won’t lie: I’ve often wanted to get get a mohawk and army jacket and dress like DiNiro’s character:
Taylor Swift’s number one fan was charged with trespassing, he ended up swimming over two miles in 60 degree water! Swift purchased her home, the one the dude almost swam up to, just a few weeks ago. It has 8 bedrooms. It is unknown if she was home at the time, but luckily her security detail was.
Featured image via Shutterstock