This professor fired off the funniest tweets after no one showed up for his class
What would you do if you were a professor, but no one showed up to your class? Not one single soul. Would you wait? Would you leave and consider it a day off? Would you feel abandoned? Or would you begin to question your own mental health?
Adam Heath Avitable is one professor who found out what he would do in such a situation. And his response, all of which he tweeted, runs the gamut.
Avitable teaches a GED prep course at a college in Central Florida. Even though his course is non-traditional and his class attendance fluctuates between one to 10 people, he didn’t expect NO ONE to come.
Though we feel bad that his class was essentially ignored by every single student, we are grateful for the hilarity in the resulting twitter feed.
#Classwatch2017 is riveting.
You know that college rule – if the professor is more than fifteen minutes late, class is canceled?
Does the opposite apply as well? pic.twitter.com/IX0QzbX37Z
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Classwatch 2017. Class started 30 mins ago. No students yet. I thought one was coming but it was just an administrator. Who laughed at me.
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Five more minutes have passed. I'm starting to doubt myself. Did I tell them no class? Is today Thursday? Am I dreaming? #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
It's so quiet. Every time I hear a door open, I sit up and smile. But when nobody enters my classroom, I die on the inside. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Class started 45 mins ago. Still no students. I get paranoid. Is the door to the classroom locked?
I check it.
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Is everyone else in the world dead? Was there a sudden zombie attack and I survived, alone in my classroom? #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I swear to all that's holy, if no students have shown up by the time it hits the hour mark, I'm calling it a day. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
A bird lands outside my window. I invite him in to learn about algebra. He declines and flies away. I hope a cat eats him. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I picture Rube Goldberg scenarios where all my students got into in one complex car accident and that's why they're late. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I check my email to see if I missed something. I have no emails at all. This is weird. Did I die? Am I dead? Is this hell? #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
My sign-in sheet is as empty as my soul right now. I have to eat this candy alone. #Classwatch2017 pic.twitter.com/loUV8pX5Q5
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Maybe I should just start lecturing. Students will hear talking and come in. That woudn't be crazy, right? RIGHT?! #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SOMEONE IS PULLING A PRANK ON ME I WILL probably break down and cry. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
The lights just went off on me automatically. I start to get up to move around so they turn on again, but what's the point. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I hear voices outside. I go to the window, hope in my heart. It's just some kids on their bikes, having fun. 1/2 #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
"Why aren't you in school? Your teacher needs you!" I yell through the closed window and give them the finger. 2/2 #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I have started to name the chairs in the classroom. Funfetti is the good student. Charmander, the troublemaker. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I fire off an email to my boss. "WHERE ARE ALL THE STUDENTS???!!?? 😪😪"
No reply.#Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Then it happens. I hear a door clang open. Footsteps get louder as someone approaches. Could it be? A student? 90 mins late? #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
It's not.#Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
That's it. I give up. I'm packing up and going home. Clearly this is a sign that I wasn't meant to teach anyone today. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Two students just walked in. Remorseless, no apology, no explanation. I hope they don't think they're getting any candy. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
I can't do it. I give them candy anyway, but remind them that class started 95 minutes ago. They shrug. Urge to kill rises. #Classwatch2017
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Both students ask to use the computer today. I sigh and say okay. I don't even need to be here. End. #Classwatch2017 pic.twitter.com/FKEaTDaxuU
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 19, 2017
Avitable posted another thread in which he muses on possible responses from a pretend student who didn’t make it to class.
"We needed to save the world. Dr. Avitable, I can't get into any of the specifics bc I've been sworn to secrecy, but I can tell you that the earth would be a giant empty smoking crater, and everyone would be dead, if it wasn't for what we did on Thursday. Especially me, because I was the leader and shit. So, in conclusion, here is a giant plate of bacon to say thank you for all that you do for us, and..."
we apologize for missing class. We will see you Tuesday, as long as there's not another apocalyptic event where I have to save the world.
— Adam Heath Avitable (@avitable) January 21, 2017
We think Avitable should start teaching storytelling instead of algebra.
