Twitter is completely divided over a raging Pooh vs. Paddington debate, and can’t we all just get along
The teaser trailer for Disney’s upcoming Christopher Robin was released yesterday, and the hearts of many grew three sizes watching the now-adult titular character reunite with Winnie the Pooh. The beloved A.A. Milne characters are finally getting the live-action treatment, with Pooh and the rest of the Hundred Acre Wood residents appearing in CGI form.
“But wait!” you may ask, after your first glance at Pooh. “Doesn’t he look a little bit familiar?”
Yes, Disney’s CGI Winnie the Pooh bears a striking resemblance to another iconic children’s character recently brought to the big screen in not one but two live action/CGI films. But instead of celebrating being blessed with gifts in the form of multiple Paddington films and a Winnie the Pooh film, some people don’t seem to want to live in a world where two CGI bears can coexist.
That’s right, in this cruel, post-“Antoni’s questionable cooking skills” world we live in, Twitter is now divided over Pooh and Paddington.
Gone are the days of iconic children’s book characters living their best lives while bringing joy to millions of people all over the world because some have decided that only ONE bear can rule supreme.
— karen han (@karenyhan) March 6, 2018
Paddington v Pooh: Dawn of Justice
— Ethan Dunlap 🎞️ (@thisissolemons) March 6, 2018
Me: I hate how divisive and polarizing every single thing has to be in today’s society
Also me: PADDINGTON OR POOH PICK A SIDE BITCH
— Pete Blackburn (@PeteBlackburn) March 6, 2018
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Pooh is washing Paddington in a fight fwiw cause the Hundred Acre Wood is too mixxie but if the battlefield is puzzles and brain power, Pad wins.
— Craig Bro Dude (@CraigSJ) March 6, 2018
Ewan looks like a Paddington fan who is not happy about this hunny-loving Pooh bear swooping in and touching his face: pic.twitter.com/W5gYVUfSPW
— Kim Renfro (@kimrrenfro) March 6, 2018
paddington (who represents the freudian concept of the super-ego) loves marmalade, which contains all the vitamins and minerals a bear needs for a whole day. winnie the pooh (a symbol of man's id) covets honey, which is gluttonous bee excrement that has no nutritional value.
— trevor (@hordrackcafe) March 6, 2018
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And you know what? I am 100 percent not here for this. Paddington and Pooh are two lovable creatures who value friendship. The marmalade- and honey-loving bears would one-hundred percent get along in real life — and would probably team up to make the best sandwiches. Who does Twitter think they are, Furbies?
Plus, at some point, we’re going to need Pooh and Paddington to team up with Yogi, Smokey, and all the other fictional bears to put an end to Ted 3. But frankly, if we’re trying to pit two beloved, pantless bears against each other, maybe we deserve Ted. This isn’t a Fast and Furious movie, where it’s practically required to have a running ranking of all five dozen films (for reference, my favorite is Fast 5).
The Pooh vs. Paddington debate is like pitting Ramona Quimby and Eloise against each other because there can only be one child who gets into shenanigans, much to the chagrin of their guardian. Or choosing between the Magic School Bus or Magic Tree House because there can only be one magical educational adventure series. And don’t even get me started on teen detectives.
Luckily, it seems a lot of Twitter users are rooting for a Paddington-Pooh bear-mance:
I am still reeling from Janney v. Metcalf and I frankly just do not have the energy for Pooh v. Paddington pic.twitter.com/oS9UUwQ69X
— Marc (@MarcSnetiker) March 6, 2018
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https://twitter.com/udfredirect/status/971115331212083200
Pooh and Paddington: Rejecting English modernity by saying no to pants since 1926.
So punk rock.
— atreides battle pug stan account (@hott0trotsky) March 6, 2018
In summary: I will watch Paddington and cry. I will watch Paddington 2 and cry. And I will watch Christopher Robin and cry. Every single time. Because we can and will have both. Plus, let’s wait and actually see if Christopher Robin is any good before we start pitting it against masterpieces, okay?
So please put an end to this unnecessary drama and instead, go back to fighting about Antoni’s guacamole and mac and cheese.
Corduroy, wherever you are, stay safe, buddy.