The Perks of Being A Tall Flower

I’ve always been tall. Like back row on school photo day tall. “Or oh! You must be good at basketball,” tall. And of course, can I wear heels on a first date tall?

I’ve read about the woes and perks of being short. Woes and perks I can never really relate to, comprehend or judge because I’ve never been short. Just tall, and sometimes, I’ve hated it. There I said it. But it’s not all bad. There are some advantages to being a “tall flower.” For instance:

1. You will never be called, “Shorty”

Is “Shorty,” a term of endearment or condescension? You will never know. At least no one will ever sing, “Yo Shorty, it’s you’re birthday.” And for that, thank your tall father.

2. You get bird’s eye view at bars!

You can wear your highest heels, look around and whoever is eye level, wins. But sadly from my experience, MOST tall guys are pretty full of themselves. I’m assuming because it takes longer for air to get up there? Unclear.

3. You never have to hem pants!

Pants too short? Well at least you don’t have to hem them! Sure, camel-toe is much more common. And yeah, a lot of times your jeans look like capris. But at least you’re saving all those tens of dollars on hemming!

4. That refreshing cool feeling you get when your head hits the wood floor in yoga class because your mat isn’t long enough.

Nama-stay-awake. ALRIGHT?!

5.  You can use your bed’s footboard to do leg crunches so you can work out while you sleep!

Or just do this One Fish Two Fish trick.

6. You can see the concert!

T-Swift gets it! So, no guy will never feel inclined to lift you on his shoulders so you can see. But you know what?! You don’t need no man! You’re an independent woman!

7. You can date guys shorter than you!

Because of feminism.

I’m not going to lie. When I start getting into a guy who’s my height or shorter. I google “tall women with short men,” and everything is okay. Not only can you date someone shorter than you, you can wear heels while you’re at it! Why would you want to date a guy who isn’t confident enough in himself for you to be taller and look great in heels?

8. You learn independence at a young age

People have been calling me, “Ma’am” since I was six. I used to get reprimanded at the playground that I should, “know better,” when I was 3 because of my size. Since then, no one has ever helped me get things out of reach, which is great because I never have to depend on other people. Yes that’s me at about 4, and I look ready for Coachella. Bottom line is tall or short, there’s a silver lining to everything. Be confident in who you are, no matter what your height is.

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