Why People Who Hate Cats Are Suspect

I recently made a new lady friend. When I had said friend over for the first time a few weeks ago, I realized something glaringly off about her: she was super awkward around my cat. She literally did not know how to interact around him and weirdly petted him with a forced “aww.” When he playfully batted his paw at her, she got freaked out and claimed he hit her. We’ll see how that holds up in court. You best lawyer up, pronto.

I finally called her on her horribly concealed dislike, when she admitted, quite simply, that she doesn’t like cats. Really doesn’t like cats. As a major animal lover with a specialty in felines, I run across people with cat allergies on the regs. However, it’s rare to meet a non-allergic who just flat-out doesn’t like cats. It made me realize that people who write off the entire feline persuasion are suspect, and let me tell you why. ***

“It’s just that I’m a dog person,” is the number one excuse for rabid cat hate. Not going to buy it, toots. I’m a cat person, but I love dogs too. I find that there are a lot of dog people who vehemently hate cats, but rarely ever vice versa. What’s the deal, dog people? Why are you making this a war? Most cat people also like dogs, why can’t you also like cats? I don’t see why it has to be one way or the other. Don’t go making me call you close-minded, dog people.

“I was around a mean cat this one time,” is yet another reason people claim to disregard kitties. Usually, this “one time” was in college when their terrible drunken roommate got a kitten because it was cute but then she didn’t properly take care of it. I’d sit under the couch and claw at you too if I never got my litter box cleaned. To this excuse I say—if one guy was an a**hole to you, are you going to write off all men? I rest my case.

“Cats won’t come when you call them/don’t know their names/insert needy pet owner symptom.” Cats are clever, coy little game-players. They play hard to get. If we start liking animals who play hard to get a little more, and men who do a little less, I think we’ll all be a bit happier.

Long story short, they say pets are like their owners. So if you want to be around great cats, start with meeting awesome cat ladies. People with allergies, you’re off the hook.

*** The author wants to note that she is using hyperbole here and has not completely written off this new friend of hers. Instead, she still hangs out with her regularly while quietly judging from her from afar.

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