Peanut butter slices are a thing now, and we don’t know what to think
They say that necessity is the mother of invention. But this is one invention that we’re not quite sure that anyone needs. A recent Food Network video of a peanut butter hack is the perfect example that humans like to make simple things difficult for themselves. What was meant to be a helpful how-to cooking video quickly became the internet’s favorite thing since pimple popping videos.
Obviously, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are a childhood (ok, and adulthood) staple for a few reasons. Namely, their delectable flavor composition and how simple they are to make. It’s one of the few meals, along with macaroni and cheese, whose name doubles as an ingredient list. Nothing really gets more simple than that. But the Food Network still tried to simplify PB&J sandwich-making by, well, making it harder.
Allow Sandwich Master Bev Weidner to introduce you to her PB&J hack: peanut butter slices.
In an instructional video, Weidner explained that she makes peanut butter slices to expedite the sandwich-making process. The vid also advertises that “PB Slices = No More Torn Bread Hack.” It’s actually a pretty great point.
"There's this whole convenience thing with sandwiches, you know, little slices of meat, little slices of cheese, pickle slices! Why aren't there peanut butter slices?" Weidner asked in the Food Network video.
Don’t know what “peanut butter slices” are? Well, they’re basically Kraft singles, but with peanut butter. They probably don’t exist for a reason, because making them is an incredibly difficult process. But let’s get into it!
First, you spread peanut butter onto parchment paper.
In the video, Weidner instructs people use about three big “gluggies or dollpies, whatever you want to call them but be sure to put an ‘ies’ on the end cause it makes it cute.” Hey — you don’t become a “sandwich master” by using pedestrian terms like “spoonfuls of peanut butter.”
Next, you fold the parchment over so the peanut butter is “sandwiched,” and roll it out.
You might be thinking, Hey wait, wouldn’t the peanut butter part of the sandwich process be done after just spooning out and spreading the peanut butter onto bread? The answer is yes, but this is a whole different process and it’s not our job to ask questions. But then, things get a little weird after rolling the peanut butter out.
Next, you put the peanut butter in the freezer for at least three hours.
Yes. All for a peanut butter sandwich. Considering that this process means preparing the peanut butter slices before assembling an actual peanut butter and jelly sandwich, it makes sense. However, having the foresight to do this kind of preparation might be reserved only for people like Bev Weidner — a sandwich master — or a wizard, maybe.
Then, you use kitchen shears to cut squares out of the frozen peanut butter.
And then, as Weidner instructs, you stick them back into the freezer so when you’re making your next sandwich, you already have the peanut butter ready to go.
Well, actually the peanut butter isn’t really ready to be eaten when you take it out of the freezer and place on your bread. Why? Because it then has to thaw. Basically, if you hate spreading peanut butter on bread — like if you really really hate it — then this could be a good hack for you. But otherwise, it’s kind of a good way to spend over five hours preparing something that could otherwise take about three minutes.
Some people, don’t see much use for peanut butter slices.
"I cant [sic] be the only one that doesn't have an issue spreading peanut butter," one person commented on the video.
Other Facebook users were more blunt about their disapproval.
"If you can't spread PB without tearing the bread, you have no business being on the Food Network," another commenter wrote.
And other Facebook users parodied the time-wasting freezing process.
"I hate all the prep work of cooking. All that time it takes to fill your pot with water so you can cook your pasta," one particularly humorous commenter wrote. "Now I boil my water in advance, put it in an ice cream bucket, throw it in the freezer, and anytime I need boiled water I just grab it, wait for it to thaw, pour it in my pot and boil it again. It saves absolutely no time, but by creating this hack I feel like I have knowledge in the kitchen."
Think you’re ready to experience Sandwich Master Bev’s peanut butter slices for yourself?
Watch the whole video below, and check out some of the hilarious comments while you’re at it.
If you can’t remember that process, definitely download the recipe for peanut butter slices. Who knows? There may be a parent out there with five kids who needs to prepare peanut butter slices for a long car ride the night beforehand. Don’t worry Bev, someone will love your hack!