The one thing that helps me out of a panic spiral

I have this thing that I do where I beat myself up about everything. Being the recovering perfectionist that I am, it’s hard for me to let things go when I mess up; whether its accidentally entering in the wrong data at work or having a small miscommunication with a friend, moving past the little everyday mistakes we all make does not come naturally to me.

Luckily for me, my Mom is not only super awesome and beautiful, but she also has a Masters degree in Counseling, which comes in handy for me because being in your twenties is hard.

Whenever Mom sees me beating myself up over (what realistically amounts to nothing) something silly, this is what she has always told me: “If your best friend was going through this exact same thing, what advice would you give her?” Inevitably, I always say, “Well I’d tell her to give herself a break! Everyone is human and nobody thinks it’s nearly as big of a deal as she does.”

“Ok”, Mom will say. “Then you need to tell yourself that right now too. You need to treat yourself and talk to yourself like you would your own best friend.”


What is a breeze to forgive and forget in our friendships can be harder to move past when it’s ourselves that have made the mistake. For those like myself whose guilty feelings are vastly disproportionate to our minor blunders, how much easier would life be if we gave ourselves the understanding and compassion that we give our friends? Many of the things that can keep us up at night are not worth the time and emotion we give them, so the way you talk to yourself is everything!

When you find yourself dwelling on a situation or downward spiraling into panic, think about how you would speak to a good friend if she were experiencing the same thing. The kind of pep talk you would give to them has the power to completely turn around how you are framing your own current situation. Grant yourself the positivity and benefit of the doubt that you do for the people you love, because sometimes being your own best friend is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself.

[Image via iStock]