OMG what is “cockroach milk” and why are people talking about drinking it?

Prepare to gag, guys: A group of scientists thinks that drinking cockroach milk is a great idea. Apparently, the literal bug juice that the Pacific Beetle cockroaches feed to their babies is chock full of protein, fat and sugar. This honestly sounds like it belongs on an episode of Fear Factor but if researchers have their way, the gross-sounding concoction could someday line the shelves at your favorite grocery store.

Fortunately, scientists haven’t figured out a way to transform the substance, which originally occurs in protein crystal form, into a liquid.

Researcher Leonard Chavas told CNN, “The protein crystals are milk for the cockroach infant. It is important for its growth and development.” When compared to cow milk, Chavas said that the cockroach crystals contain “three times the energy of of an equivalent mass of buffalo milk, about four times the equivalent of cow’s milk.”

OK, so yay protein and all. We know the body relies heavily on protein so we can certainly appreciate the scientists’ innovative approach to keeping us all healthy. Having said that, there are some things in life that should never, ever go together, like creepy bugs and me drinking things that came from their bodies. This is so hyper specific that I thought it went without saying, but clearly I was incorrect, so let me be (cockroach milk) crystal clear: This is a no go.

Obviously, Chavas and his fellow researchers think otherwise. “For now, we are trying to understand how to control this phenomena in a much easier way, to bring it to mass production,” the scientist said about the process of converting the crystals into milk.

Given the fact that I’ve been ferociously trying to hold down the last thing I ate before reading this, this cockroach milk gets a hard pass from me. In fact, I’d rather gulp pea milk by the gallon, which sounds a hell of a lot more appetizing.