An Ode To Sloths, AKA The Best Animal Living Today
There was a time when a sloth was just another tree-dwelling mammal found in the jungles of Central and South America. Then the Internet happened. Now sloths have their own live-cams, their own yawning, toppling over, bottle-feeding gifs, and as of Friday, their own televised week. Yup, it’s officially Sloth Week— Animal Planet’s antidote to the terrors of Shark Week. The network’s 6-day long programming feat, which began on Friday, pays tribute to the Internet’s favorite slow-moving, hairy, smoosh-nosed goofballs, with live-cams, online video featurettes, and a two-hour documentary. It is, in a word, paradise.
So what’s up with our obsession with sloths? And why can’t we just love cats and be cool? All good questions. Here are 10 reasons sloths are vital to our Internet diet:
1. Because they drink from tiny bottles like little babies.
2. Because they look like old, contented men when they sleep.
3. Because they have no personal space.
4. Have you seen their hands?
5. Because they smile! They freaking smile! And why? Because of scratchies.
6. Because they put their all into a yawn.
7. Because they don’t care if you treat them like Barbies.
8. Because they sit up like people. Cats don’t do that (willingly).
9. Because their eyes to nose to mouth ratio is perfection.
10. Because this happened once.
(Featured image via)