Here’s why you’re not still close to your middle school friends, according to science

Growing apart from friends is never fun, but if it’s any comfort, you’re not alone. A new study found that only 1% of friendships formed in middle school were still intact by their senior year of high school. Specifically, the researchers took a look at 410 7th graders, and touched base with them every year until they graduated.

When you make some of your first best friends, it’s hard to imagine anything ever changing. All the sleepovers, the late night trampoline talks, the eating icing in your basement. What could possibly disturb that kind of happiness?

Well, according to the study, a few things. The most common were differences in sex, GPA and popularity. It’s not that an honor student can’t be friends with someone who struggles in math (and vice versa), but that different attitudes towards school can definitely be indicative that you guys aren’t walking a similar path. Same with popularity. If your priorities end up being too different, it’s hard to find common ground, even if you still like the same Netflix shows.

As sad as this all is, isn’t it for the best? No matter the reason for your growing apart, it’s more important that you both find relationships that make you feel comfortable and supported. On paper, it can seem depressing, but in practice, shifting and changing is a part of growing up. If you’re going through something similar, maybe take a look at one of my fave (500) Days of Summer quotes:

Exactly. A friendship ending doesn’t mean that the experience wasn’t worth it. It may seem like the end of the world, but it’s just a part of life.

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