Non Rom-Com Believer Turned Hypocrite

Whenever I used to watch a romantic movie, I would scoff at the um, what? 10 minutes it took couples, bound together by earth’s magnetic pull, (sure? that happens?) to fall in love. It’s a movie, I would justify because in reality–that just doesn’t exist; the perchance meetings and hardcore lusting, crushing, falling in loving; the ridiculously lucky and absurdly extravagant string of events that result in the epitome of tawdry, but quixotic first, second, third, and then engagement dates. Like, yes, obviously, you proclaim indefatigable love after rare experiences, such as flash mob performances, or being the only ice skaters in Central Park with Christmas lights and giant pretzels, or a golden carriage, pumpkins, and a dashing prince charming shouting that you’re his completion in front of a room full of divorcee’s, or your best friend, even total strangers and maybe he’s hanging down from on a Ferris wheel. Clearly, happily ever after will be the result of five seconds of tender moments and a long, drawn-out first kiss.

How ironic that the scenes I deem most enchanting, I also criticize the very most for their hyperbolism. Because, while these movies are very feel good, make you smile (and/or secretly cry), you’re also questioning why there are no Ryan Gosling’s stalking YOU at an amusement park…and ultimately it boils down to the fact that love, in real life, just doesn’t work that way. Right?

Ahh and so now the icky part: I must commence full deceit and admit that I myself am guilty of the eyeball-rolling, remark making, cough, cough, scoff, scoff, oh it’s just Hollywood, justification, kind of love. So, yes, I will confess, I fell in love, fast. Traitor! I know. Sometimes, it even makes me cringe. But, I’m also highly aware that it’s true and I am, indeed, a hypocrite to its fullest definition. The setting was picturesque –and it almost seemed too good to be true (impossible!) as my knight (cowboy) in shining armor (gag) rode in on his white horse (literally) wearing his rodeo boots and straw hat.

I shall suggest a disclaimer for future suspicious and fellow rom-com doubters, I have warned you! That, yes, it could totally, absolutely, definitely, maybe (hehe) certainly, likely, probably WILL happen to you, too, and when you experience the straight from Hollywood, completely unrealistic, but holy-s**t-it’s-actually-happening-date or first kiss moment (mine was beneath a waterfall, after hiking to arguably one of the most beautiful lakes I’ve ever seen, and here’s this 6 foot, 3 inch, handsome guy carving our initials with a heart into the tree’s along the way–as if he were leaving bread crumbs to help us find our way back, which neither of us actually cared if we found) you too, shall admit defeat. And when you do, 10 days to fall in love with each other’s craziness will seem real, (How to Lose a Guy) proclaiming your love for each other on top a kissing booth in high school (The O.C.) won’t seem like wonderful fiction, and McDreamy and McSteamy (Grey’s Anatomy) will pale in comparison to your McWhoever.

Mind you, as wonderful as my experience has been, I’m still waiting for Ryan Gosling (sigh) to chase me around and beg me to go on a date with him…

You can read more from Lindsey Conklin on her blog.

Featured image via BuzzFeed.