5 non-awkward ways to ask your coworker to hang out outside of work

The older we get, the harder making friends can be, especially at work. We’re all so set in our ways, have our friendships solidified with history, and our routines firmly planted. But sometimes we meet someone who we just know we’d get along with smashingly, like Vicky in the cubicle across the way who seems so funny and cool, or Carlos the graphic design guy whose style we dig.

So, how do you ask your co-worker to hang with you outside of work without coming across like a total creepo?

Here are some ideas. With each, make sure to be way casual, like #NBD, but also not too-cool-for-school. Keep it real, be engaging, but not desperate, but know that it’s okay to cry if they say no.

1. Start with a sleepover lunch.

Everyone knows that “what are you doing for lunch? Want to grab a sandwich?” is really code for, “Hey, you want to do each other’s nails and hair tonight?” But, social etiquette dictates starting slow. So learn the code and stick to it. Lunch is casual and easy because you can just talk about work, and then get to know each other a little better before ramping up to the epic sleepover.

2. Ask your co-worker if you can sob on her shoulder about your breakup he’d like to see La La Land or whatever big movie is out at the time.

Everybody likes movies, and they’re great activities for getting to know someone because the movie gives you a topic to talk about.

3. Invite her or him to cuddle with you during your thousandth watching of The Shining a cool/interesting but low-key event.

“Have you heard about that holiday stage musical version of Die Hard? I’m thinking of going this weekend. Would you like to come with me?”

4. Plan a nude spa day group outing and invite your co-worker along.

“My friends and I are going to that wine tasting picnic after work tonight. Would love for you to join, if you’re free.” Takes the pressure off of having to do the one-on-one conversation thing, as your other friends will take part in the getting-to-know-you game.

5. Go to shots! shots! shots! happy hour.

If you don’t already know where the nearest happy hour is, find out. And then casually ask your cubicle neighbor if they’d like to grab a drink with you. “I’m grabbing happy hour at Culver Hotel tonight. Wanna join?”

Phrase it casually enough, and…

…you’ll soon have your designated holding-your-hair-back bestie on lockdown.