Caroline Goldstein
November 26, 2019 7:37 am
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Whether you’re doing the breaking up or getting broken up with, a breakup is almost always a crappy thing to go through. That’s why it’s so important to administer some extra self-care after a split. You know, like, escaping to a remote English village, subsisting off prosecco and chocolate, and binge-watching the 2006 Cameron Diaz-Kate Winslet rom-com The Holiday for three days straight. And thanks to the U.K.-based vacation home rental agency Independent Cottages, this elaborate fantasy can become your reality.

Everett Collection

This year, the enterprising agency is hosting a Holiday-inspired “Christmas Competition” for (no joke) recently dumped people.

The winner will score a three-night stay at cozy Farthing Cottage in the Cotswolds, which is reminiscent of the cottage in which heartbroken movie editor Amanda (Cameron Diaz) falls in love with cheeky single dad Graham (Jude Law). To throw your fascinator into the ring, all you have to do is share your name, contact info, and story of woe. The agency will ostensibly pick the person who is the saddest.

According to its official listing, Farthing Cottage “oozes traditional character with beams on the ceiling, an original Cotswolds stone floor, stone walls, and a fireplace housing a log burner which makes it perfect for a winter break.” The agency promises that the cottage will be decorated for the festive season, too.

Independent Cottages

Upon your arrival, the agency says, “the friendly cottage owners will ensure you have everything you need for a comfortable stay, including chocolates and prosecco upon arrival to indulge in some ‘you time.’” That alone is enough to melt our cold, sad hearts.

Should you ever want to leave your “romantic, hand-carved, four-poster bed,” you can take a short stroll to the quaint market town of Stow-on-the-Wold for a pint, some holiday shopping, and a potential run-in with Kate Winslet, who actually, truly lives in the Cotswolds.

Although the home is quaint as hell, it boasts modern amenities like a flat-screen television, dishwasher, washer-dryer, and WiFi for you to not use to stalk your ex on Instagram.

Farthing Cottage sleeps two, but we probably don’t need to tell you that the competition is only available for one person.

Good luck to everyone who enters the competition. But for those of you who don’t win, you don’t actually need to abscond to the English countryside to overcome heartbreak. As the saying goes, time and Lizzo heal all wounds. You got this.