Karen Fratti
May 31, 2017 9:46 am
LELO

Everyone needs condoms and a good vibrator, but some Memorial Day thieves took it to an entirely new level. Over the weekend, burglars stole 30,000 condoms from the Lelo factory in Las Vegas, along with $10,000 worth of sex toys. It didn’t just happen once either — thieves went in two times to pull off the sex positive heist. Lelo, which makes and sells high-end vibrators, dildos, and obviously also condoms, posted security footage on their website. The company is taking it well, though. In a blog post with the security footage, they mock the thieves’ style. The company wrote:

OUCH, right? They also couldn’t figure out why the guys were stealing from them at all in the first place. Like, unloading 30,0000 premium condoms isn’t exactly bring in an Oceans 11-type haul. The Lelo Hex condoms are lovely, but when someone steals that many? To what end, guys?

Lelo wrote, “We hope they saw a shiny new warehouse and thought ‘yeahhhh we about to be Made Men, sonnnn’ and they went home with their ill-gotten loot, opened up the boxes, discovered they had grabbed 30,000 condoms by accident.”

The company added that then the thieves must have been “so stunned that they realized they depended on each other’s partnership to get over the trauma, quickly fell in passionate love, had no condoms left by the end of the week, and quit their life of crime to grow old together and renovate a charming guesthouse in New Orleans. That’s what LELO does. Dreamweavers, we are.”

Because seriously, of all the things to steal, it had to be 30,000 Lelo condoms?

However, the guys did apparently know what they were after, since they came back not once, but twice. The second time, instead of condoms, they went for 33 vibrating butt plugs and 48 Kegel beads. Very specific, right? Lelo felt left out, writing, “WHAT KIND OF PARTY ARE THESE PEOPLE HAVING. We could have done the sponsorship or something. A friggin’ invite might have been nice.”

At least the company has a sense of humor about their loss, but still, robbing a factory is not cool and definitely illegal. Just because we can laugh at the fact that two thieves were intent on grabbing thousands of condoms and butt plugs doesn’t make it right. We just hope law enforcement catches them soon so we can find out what the real story was with that many butt plugs.

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