Rebecca Vineyard
September 30, 2016 11:14 am
New Line Cinema

It started out a creepy anomaly: Someone dressed as a clown was trying to lure kids into the woods near a South Carolina apartment building. It’s weird, to be sure, and disconcerting, absolutely – but it’s more a shudder-lightly-then-go-about-your-day level of unsettling.

Yesterday, a host of clowns popped up in New Jersey, taking joy rides and chasing kids – which is certainly eerie but seems more of a “WTF?” thing until you know that a couple of the clowns were WIELDING SWORDS as they chased children. Just when we thought things were totally out of hand, though, new developments in Ohio have made the whole situation so, so much worse, and we’re pretty sure we’re never going to sleep again.

According to USA Today, a woman in Reading, OH reported BEING ATTACKED by a man dressed as a clown, who made threats against students. This prompted the community to close down their schools for today out of concern for students – no arrests have been mad in the attack, and there was a lot of (totally valid) worry for children who walk to school early in the morning.

On Facebook, Colerain police said, “This suspect used the current ‘clown’ trend to further terrorize parents and students and has been charged with Making Terrorist Threats and Inducing Panic.”

The police said the account was causing “annoyance and alarm to communities,” and if “annoyance and alarm” is measured police talk for “frightening community members with spine-chilling and sinister posts” then yeah, that seems to be the case.

It’s unclear whether the attack, or the juvenile’s arrest, are connected, but either way we’re wishing safety to the citizens of Ohio through our disturbed shivers.

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