Alyssa Giannone
December 15, 2017 3:58 pm

Hold onto your pants! There’s a new interactive game that teaches cis men where to keep their penis in public spaces! Thank goodness!

How many times has this happened to you? You’re on the subway and a man gently grazes your butt with his penis with the excuse that the train is too crowded. OR you’re waiting in line at the movies and a man whips out his penis in excitement. OR you’re in the office and a man interrupts your whole day by taking out his penis by the water cooler.

If you’re that guy in any of these situations, consider yourself saved: “Where Does Your Penis Belong?” is an interactive computer game in the style of a children’s book, but it’s for grown-ass men. The last few months have been a whirlwind of high-profile sexual assault allegations that are ending careers and starting a reassessment of power structures across multiple industries. Astoundingly, many of the accused men have responded with the excuse that they grew up in a different time, when it was apparently okay to show women their penises in the workplace.

Now, those men who missed their “How to be proper humans” class can catch up with this easy game. Here’s how it works:

“Where does your penis belong…on the train?” asks the first quiz question.

To answer, drag your cursor across the screen and click where you think the penis belongs. If you click anywhere but the pants, you’re met with pop-up bubbles that say things like, “Oh no that’s not where you put your weenis! Try again.” Or “Wrong! That peen shall not be seen!”

The game was created by illustrators and graphic designers Ashley Simon, Allison Gore, and Isla Murray. The website also gives you the option to buy the children’s book version of the game, for which 100% of the proceeds go to RAINN, the country’s most notable anti-sexual violence organization.

Long live pants, indeed.

Advertisement