Samantha Chavarria
February 08, 2018 12:43 pm

The Fifty Shades franchise is set to release its third and final film, Fifty Shades Freed, and both dedicated fans and new followers of the movies are excited to see what lies in store for Anastasia and Christian. However, if your only experience with the erotic practices of BDSM involves that Rihanna jam, “S&M,” you may be surprised to learn that, when it comes to BDSM, it’s about much more than just chains and whips.

There are several different subcategories of sex play that fall under the practice of BDSM, or Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, and Sadism/Masochism. Whether we’re talking roleplay, spanking, pain kinks, domination/submission, bondage, or incorporating different types of intense sensations (think feathers and candle wax), in BDSM, the name of the game is trust. Before we continue, it’s important to note that many BDSM enthusiasts find the Fifty Shades portrayal of BDSM to be problematic and more representative of abuse — so here is the lowdown on what BDSM really is.

A common misconception about BDSM is that the Dom (the person performing the activity) is the partner in control while the Sub (the person receiving the stimulation) is powerless — but that couldn’t be more wrong.

The Sub may seem to be at the whim of their partner, but by mutually consenting to the act, both participants equally put their trust in each other. The session (also know as “the play”) is meant to bring pleasure — sometimes through pain or humiliation — but never through nonconsensual actions.

To prevent either side from overstepping physical and emotional boundaries, safe words are previously decided upon in order to pause the play when needed. Also, similar to the contract that Anastasia signs in Fifty Shades Of Grey, the establishment of written or verbal contracts is a common practice in the BDSM community. This allows partners to confirm consent and clearly outline what’s on the table.

If you’re looking to engage in play, there are plenty of titillating opportunities to sate your desire. Entering a temporary or long-term BDSM relationship, hiring professional services, or attending private clubs and parties can offer you a taste of this provocative world.

It’s easy to understand why people practice BDSM. In addition to sexual satisfaction, these acts increase communication and intimacy between partners. Plus, the elevated release of serotonin and dopamine that happens after sex play reduces stress levels, which is good for your heart and well-being.

Attitudes about less-traditional sex play are changing, and media such as Fifty Shades Freed is turning people on to a whole new way of owning their sexuality. Just don’t forget your safe word!

You May Like