Rachel Paige
March 26, 2018 1:19 pm
Saeed Adyani/Netflix

Netflix’s best husband-and-wife-zombie-murder-team is back with Santa Clarita Diet Season 2. The premise of the show is this: Sheila (Drew Barrymore) dies, and comes back to life as a flesh-eating zombie. Her husband Joel (Timothy Olyphant) doesn’t exactly know how to deal with that, but he’s trying his very best. Meanwhile, their teenager daughter Abby (Liv Hewson) has accepted that things could actually be worse, and their next door neighbor Eric (Skyler Gisondo) thinks this is the greatest thing in the world, in the name of science. 

Basically, it’s a clear-cut situation for comedy, and you should tell your friends.

The laughs (and dead bodies) fly faster than you can even keep track of in Season 2 as the Hammond family tries to balance daily life, along with the fact that their matriarch is dead. Can they keep it together? Can they continue to kill really bad people so Sheila survives to live another day and sell another house? Is Joel ever going to be able to build that bookcase for the upstairs bedroom??

You’ll find those answers in the absurd Season 2, full of so many good quotable quips you’ll be laughing about them for days. Here are just some of the best lines, without any context whatsoever. Because that just makes them funnier.

Episode 1, “No Family is Perfect”

“I just wanted your vomit. Why’d you have to make it weird?” — Abby

“Our kitchen looks like the inside of a shark.”— Joel

“I had such a good day at the asylum.”— Joel

Episode 2, “Coyote in Yoga Pants”

“Wow, if you take killing off the table we really don’t have a lot of moves.”— Joel

“Kidnapping. Why don’t governments do more to stop them?”— Joel

“We’re hand models and we have to protect our assets from sun damage.”— Eric

Episode 3, “Moral Gray Area”

“I guess we could just get pine, the Toyota Camry of the forest.”— Joel

“As a bird bath owner I know you’re always looking for ways to help others.”— Sheila

“Get the tarps out of the car, honey, because we just found our young single Hitler.” — Sheila

Episode 4, “The Queen of England”

“I don’t know honey, we have a lot on our plate, I don’t want to be opening up a finishing school for the undead.”— Joel

“She said she wants me to be her, Joel. Does that ring any bells for anyone. Joel?”— Eric

Episode 5, “Going Pre-med”

“I want to talk to you about yesterday, when you were choking Ramona with your belt.”— Sheila

“Killing people is hard. I used to think that was a good thing.”— Joel

“I could add a basket of seashells.”— Sheila

Episode 6, “Pasión”

“Does Sven know your mother and I are constantly looking for people to kill?”— Joel

“What good is a housing development when a rabid army of flesh eating goons are roaming the streets?”— Joel

“If life has taught me anything it’s that human emotion is all about fairness.”— Eric

Episode 7, “A Change of Heart”

“I just wish you could eat chicken.”— Joel

Episode 8, “Easels and War Paint”

“Yeah, I’m not looking forward to hearing *that* at the trial.”— Sheila

“No dad, come look, the lack of strawberries is appalling.”— Abby

Episode 9, “Suspicious Objects”

“Thank you for mouse-splaining explosives to me.”— Abby

“I can’t help but notice you two are pointedly saying each others names in a hurtful way.”— Sheila

“Teenagers can even make the apocalypse about them.”— Joel

Episode 10, “Halibut!”

“If you fuckers try to leave me somewhere I will track you down and give you so much shit it will make the time you didn’t take me to see One Direction feel like a walk in the goddamn park.”— Abby

“Why are we bringing the toaster oven?”— Sheila
“We just bought it.”— Joel

“We’re not leaving, and you guys are getting our toaster oven.”— Abby

Season 3 can’t get here fast enough.

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