Of all the reboots and revivals to look forward to, we miiiiight be looking forward to Roseanne the most. Luckily, we’ve been pretty fortunate when it comes to details about the upcoming revival. Like, we know that we’re getting everybody from the original back — including two, count ’em, two, Beckys — and we also know some political info, like who the Conners voted for.
That said, our favorite tidbit (so far) about the reboot of one of our ‘ol sitcom faves is an assurance from John Goodman, aka Dan Conner. TV Guide reports that when asked about what the Conners have been up to since we last sat down for a round of barbs and banter at the kitchen table with them, Roseanne Barr said they’ve been, “getting older” and “watching [their] family grow.” Cool, cool.
John Goodman added that Dan will try “not to have another heart attack” this time.
Which, like, cool. Great. Awesome. We love that, because honestly, we just want the Conners to be as happy as the Conners can be and most importantly, we want them all to STAY ALIVE. But also, it didn’t even occur to us to worry about something like Dan having another heart attack, so thanks for THAT brand new fear, John Goodman.
We already have so many questions and concerns about how Dan is seemingly back from the dead — the revival is going to ignore that that happened, but how will it all shake out?! — we didn’t need to add the whole “what if he dies AGAIN” issue into the mix.
Honestly, a lot of us got to know Roseanne and her crew during after school reruns after the show originally aired. But no matter how you started watching Roseanne, if you did, you definitely remember the deep emotional trauma caused by Dan’s heart attack. That was some seriously emotional stuff! We definitely can’t handle it again, so we hope that Goodman is being super honest and not at all trolling us.
Do you hear us, Goodman? WE CAN’T HANDLE IT.