Can you believe…that somehow Jonathan Van Ness manages to be even more fierce and on fire in Season 2 of Queer Eye than he was in Season 1? The grooming expert for the Fab Five once again is not holding anything back when it comes to the other boys and the makeover “heroes” on the show. While Season 1 of the new Netflix series gave us the instant classic “Can you believe?” — there’s way more where than came from. Season 2 of Queer Eye has so many great one-liners you should think about getting one of these as your next tattoo.
So whether you’re just yelling about what products you need for your hair (“POMADE! x3”) or complaining about Reno, Nevada, here are 25 of the best Jonathan quotes from Season 2…to hold us over until Season 3 of Queer Eye.
1. “Picture it, you click on Netflix and you turn on that Bob Ross collection they have on there? So peaceful!”
2. “So what’s on your vision board?”
3. “We’re going to have a Steel Magnolias moment!”
4. “There is a diva in there, but all she needs is a little bit of a bold lip.”
5. “Every time we go this far out of Atlanta I remember the nervousness I felt on Election Night 2016. Like this level of discomfort. Like, where are we going?”
6. “This is giving me like Bob Ross realism!”
7. “In my world, everything that’s romantic is topless.”
8. “When your best look is fresh out of bed Sasquatch, it is not inspiring for your lady. At all.”
9. “Oh, you’re making my Blanche come out.”
10. “If you accidentally knock your wife up, you have to name the baby Jonathan because it’s totally my fault because I got you this haircut. And if you have a little girl, it could be my last name with an ‘a,’ which is Vanessa, which is also coincidentally my drag name.”
11. “If you can’t land a triple toe triple toe in Atlanta, why are you going to be able to land a triple toe triple toe in Reno?”
12. “This is like boyfriend material house!”
13. “Yas queen!” [picks up Magnum condoms]
14. “The only time I’ve ever liked Reno was at the end of Sister Act when all the ladies had to go save Whoopi from those evil mob sharks. That was fierce. But other than that Reno does not have a place in my heart.”
Editor’s note: Honestly, I was crying too hard during Episode 5 to pull quotes.
15. “I’ve never been to an ‘I didn’t graduate from college’ party.'”
16. “You’re a really well-read baby.”
17. “You don’t want to Home Alone it.”
18. “Can you handle the CON-FI-DONCE?”
19. “I’m really just this cuddly, cozy, boobie baby.”
20. “You’re strong, you’re a Kelly Clarkson song, you got this.”
21. “We’ve got five gays from big cities, except for Tan, and we’ve got things to do.”
22. “But he’s living his truth and it’s cute.”
23. “Johnny’s loves pizza, yummers yummers yummers.”
24. “I just need him to make better a little bit, you know what I mean?”
25. “Pomade! Pomade! Pomade!”
Queer Eye seasons 1 and 2 are now streaming on Netflix.