Nico Tortorella and his partner of 12 years, Bethany Meyers, tied the knot in March 2018 in a courthouse union that bucked traditional wedding norms. The queer and polyamorous duo both wore gorgeous “genderbending ensembles” on their wedding day, and as newlyweds, they continue to embody the unique relationship values that work for them, like living in separate spaces and forging their own path for marriage.

“We still don’t live together,” Tortorella told in a new interview. “We see each other on a weekly basis. We’re FaceTiming all day, everyday.”

He added that since they’ve gotten married, everyone wants to give them advice. We understand the human instinct to help and nurture, but if Tortorella and Meyers’ decade-plus relationship is any indication, relationships look different for everyone — there’s no one way to be married.

Tortorella also mentioned that he was surprised by how much everyone applauded him for getting married.

Tortorella’s relationship is a gentle reminder that you and your partner are free to create the relationship that works for you. Monogamous, two beds, shared house, married, or poly — do you!