Australian mother and accidental comedian (in our book, anyway) Constance Hall (@mrsconstancehall) always has hilarious and poignant things to say about the realities of motherhood. In fact, her blog Queens of Constance is so popular that she’s got a book coming out called Like A Queen. Basically, it’s safe to say the world loves to see what will come out of Constance’s camp next.
In her most recent Insta post, Constance writes about something you hardly ever hear about in the social media world of mothering. She admits that her toddler son Rumi has a violent streak, and it sometimes just comes out of nowhere. There have been times when she turns her back for a split second and he starts hitting his brother or sister.
“Well…. I have a violent child. Rumi is a fucking little monster. Today I turned my back for a split second and he had backed Snow into a corner and was kicking and hitting her with meth head force.”
Constance says the first thing she usually hears when mothers witness other kids lashing out like this is, “Poor kid, obviously sees a lot of violence at home.” But that’s not always the case, and we shouldn’t automatically assume that, she says – especially since Rumi’s twin sister has a completely different personality to prove that one’s environment isn’t always a factor.
“My house hold has a lot of shit things, it’s messy, it’s relaxed, we argue, kids stay up late… But one thing it is not is violent. My 3 other kids are gentle. Somehow I just got this gang member throw back.”
She then offers advice to mothers out there who struggle with toddlers who are inexplicably violent. The answer is not to respond with more violence or to condone it in any way. Rather, show them what love and gentleness is. “Extra snuggles, extra kindness, and extra kisses” is the name of the game, according to Constance.
Fight violence with extra love? We’re totally on board.