Jessica Ellis
March 05, 2016 12:34 pm
Disney/Pixar

Just when you thought it was safe to go to the deepest part of the ocean…it isn’t. It’s really hard, don’t go there. But if you did get to Challenger Deep in the Mariana Trench, thought to be one of the deepest parts of the ocean, what you heard might scare your waterproof socks off.

Oceanographer Bob Dizak and his team from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), recently decided they were low on tunes and needed a new playlist. So they designed an audio-recording instrument capable of withstanding pressure 36,000 feet underwater at Challenger Deep, and like we used to with our favorite radio stations, hit “record” for 23 days of non-stop ocean sounds.

What did they hear down there? Actually quite a lot. Speaking to Gizmodo, Dizak reported ““I was surprised by just how cleanly we can record whales, ships, and all sorts of activity taking place at the surface.”

Okay, we should all be glad that, as Dizak said, we can find out how it sounds seven miles down. Yay, science! However, after listening to some of these clips, we are less glad for the nightmare fuel that we’ve just aurally ingested.

For instance, if you want to be terrified of Monstro for the rest of your life, here’s what a baleen whale sounds like on the bottom of the Mariana Trench:

What is that?? Is that whale made out of metal?? Here’s another, different whale call that’s just as freaky. We think this whale might be made of rubber or some other bouncy material, given its sounds:

If you aren’t sufficiently frightened of the depths yet, here’s a recording of a 5.0 earthquake. The rumbling takes over about halfway through, and we’re pretty sure this sound is the best way to terrify small children ever:

Okay, has anyone checked to see if the Cloverfield monster is down there? Has Leviathan been sighted? Anybody tied up any maidens for the Kraken to come eat lately? James Cameron has a submarine, is this all some form of marketing for Titanic Two: Ocean Continues to Win?

All we’re saying is that we’re afraid. Amazed at the science, of course, but very, very afraid.

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