Rachel Paige
March 05, 2018 11:57 am

The 2018 Oscars were fine. But did you know they could have been EVEN BETTER?? Because in some alternative 2018 Oscars timeline, The Lonely Island were allowed to perform a show-stopping number that literally would have brought down the house, literally, because they were going to set off fireworks on stage, and force all four Hollywood Chrises to sing and dance.

Now that you know this was a possibility, do you feel like you were shut out of the 2018 Oscars, just like Lady Bird?

Story goes that a few weeks ago, the Oscars approached The Lonely Island to write a song for the 2018 telecast. If you remember, the group took to the stage a few years ago to sing their *Oscar nominated* song, “Everything is Awesome” from The Lego Movie. Why not create that movie magic once again for this year?

Well, The Lonely Island performing at the Oscars was just too good and pure for 2018, so it was scrapped. As the band explains, it was “financially and logistically impossible.” But since they don’t want to actually deprive us of nice things, they’ve decided to release the rough demo of their cut Oscar song, “Why Not Me?”, along with a rough storyboard for it, and honestly, it should sweep the 2019 Oscars. It is a sight to be seen. It is…something else.

The video basically asks the age old question, “Why don’t big blockbusters get nominated for any Academy Awards?” Thor laments that Ragnarok was fun for the whole family! Wonder Woman left her family behind to go and save the world! And Dominic Toretto complains that he blew up like six cars while crooning into his popcorn bucket, “If popcorn movies are so bad, why is popcorn delicious?”

Good question, Dom.

The video would have also featured a few solos about Tiffany Haddish peeing while on a zipline, and also an entire chorus about Michael Fassbender’s The Snowman. It makes complete sense as to why the Oscars deemed this “financially and logistically impossible,” but they could have at least tried. At least we’ll always have this YouTube video, and maybe Lonely Island can host the whole show next year.

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