Lizzo just made a DNA test—turns out, we're NOT 100% that bitch
Well, shoot. We were under the impression that, like Lizzo‘s fire line from her bop “Truth Hurts,” we were 100% that bitch. But after taking the official Lizzo DNA Test, which was created in collaboration with Spotify, it turns out we are most definitely not. Please, we ask for some space and privacy at this time. Truth, as she says, hurts.
This is how the quiz works: First, you’ll be prompted to upload a selfie. It then leads you through a series of 10 questions that are not-so-subtly related to Lizzo trivia: What instrument did you play as a child? How did you break up with your last ex? What comes next after getting your hair shampooed and pressed? Etc., etc.
This question was especially tricky. Can’t there be an “all of the above” option?
Although you could probably rig your answers to get the ideal “100% that bitch” outcome based on your knowledge of Lizzo basics, honesty is always the best policy, in our opinion.
So, we’ll be honest with you. We just took a DNA test, and turns out, we’re 69% that bitch. We wish we were kidding.
But we can’t feel that bad about not reaching 100%. Lizzo didn’t either. We’re all having an off day.
You can take the Lizzo quiz here. After you receive your results, you can either celebrate or mourn your loss of “that bitch-ness” by listening to the “That Bitch Playlist” linked below on the results page. It’s filled with Lizzo jams and tunes from other baddies like Nicki Minaj, Trina, Eve, Cardi B, and, obviously, Beyoncé.
Take the quiz, and uncover the truth about your bad bitch self. Although our DNA may not be 100% that bitch, we’re all 100% that bitch at heart.