Sydney Bucksbaum
Updated Mar 05, 2018 @ 2:33 pm

Waking up on the Monday morning post-Oscars is so terrible that it feels like it can actually kill you. No matter where you live or where you work, we’re all feeling the same kind of intense, personal struggle to keep our eyelids open for the better part of this work day. But can you imagine waking up on “Oscars Monday” to find out that only did you actually die without realizing it, but you died *days ago* without anyone telling you?! Because that’s exactly what happened to Henry Cavill.

Superman (and super man, if you know what I mean) posted his hilarious reaction to that exact realization on his Instagram earlier this morning with a screenshot of Google telling him that he died on March 3rd, 2018. Now before you commence your freakout that the world lost this beautiful, perfect soul way too soon (um, hello, Justice League 2 hasn’t even come out, okay?!), he confirmed that it’s just fake news with a selfie showing his incredulous reaction. He’s still alive, people, this is not an emergency. Put your mourning clothes back in the closet.

This was quite the roller coaster of emotions to go through when we’re all already so drained from the late Sunday night activities, but the ride isn’t over yet. The fact that Cavill is still rocking his now-infamous ‘stache in his selfie just triggered a whole new slew of emotions. And honestly, I don’t know how to feel about it.

First, he oh-so-politely reminded us of all that this mustache ruined Justice League. (Try to get this image out of your mind, I dare you.) Then I remember just how hot he looks with or without the facial hair, and I get angry at Mission Impossible: 6 all over again because of their insistence that he couldn’t shave it or wear a fake version while still filming Justice League. This long national ‘stache nightmare should be over, but there it is, in all its movie-ruining glory, staring at us smugly from above Cavill’s lip on his Insta.

Can someone please just get this man a razor before we all go mad?! Even though he looks so great with facial hair, I’m traumatized by it forever. Thanks a lot, ‘stache.