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One of the worst things we’ve EVER heard of has just gotten EVEN WORSE. The creepy clowns who have been spotted in South Carolina, California, and North Carolina have now been spotted in New Jersey as well… and they’ve moved on from merely trying to lure children into the woods. Are you ready for this? (You’re not ready for this, nobody is ready for this, there are SWAT teams who are grossly underprepared for this. President Obama himself has not been adequately prepared for this.)

Now the creepy clowns are wielding SWORDS.

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Not only are they wielding swords, but they’re reportedly chasing children now, too. We love Halloween as much as the next person with good taste, but seriously, NOBODY ASKED FOR THIS. We all like to imagine what we’d do if we were in a horror film, obvi, but we’re pretty sure not a single person wants to actually find out.

On Tuesday, The Police Captain of Phillipsburg, New Jersey, Robert Stettner, spoke up about these ridiculously awful (RIDICULOUSLY AWFUL) clown sightings, and we’re never leaving home again. Ever.

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YIKES. We hope the police are on top of this, so this scary clown nonsense dies down. Because seriously, it’s not funny at all.